Dear Dorie,

I have a beautiful 2-year-old boy who won’t sleep through the night, no matter what I do. A good night is one or two wake-ups and a bad night can be three or four. Is this normal? How am I supposed to help him stay asleep?

— Sleepless in Santa Monica



Dear Sleepless,

Sleep deprivation is part of the reality of motherhood that no one really wants to admit, so kudos for your honesty. If you stick to most parenting publications, you’re convinced that your beautiful toddler is the only toddler in the world who is not sleeping through the night. Well, in my extremely unscientific trials, I’m guesstimating that about 60 percent of us are sleep deprived through our child’s third year of life.

You can try dietary changes, like limiting sugars after 4 p.m. for example. Or you can try nighttime rituals that creep into the two-hour length and make you feel like an idiot for even trying to put your child to bed earlier than he or she wants, letting them “cry it out” which establishes you as parent/torturer — always a guilt-ridden experience for me personally — or turn it over to someone else entirely (spouse, nanny, etc.) just to regain sanity. Some of these things may work for you and some may not.

My best advice on sleep disruptions is to establish your own unique response and stick with it for the long haul. I use the same repetitive verbage ("hi honey, mommy’s here, you’re safe, it’s time to go back to sleep, the whole world’s asleep”); the same physical routine (pick up, comfort, rock in same chair, put back in bed, pat back, leave room) and remind myself that this too shall pass. I figure just when we get them sleeping through the night consistently, they’ll hit puberty and not want to wake up. Hang in there.

— Dorie

(Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program, provided by Saint John’s Health Center in partnership with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Submit questions to “Dear Dorie” at meek@smmusd.org, or call (310) 452-6132.)