Film Critic Dan Dunn previews the summer movie season
THE MOVIE Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men’s Chest (July 7) THE STARS Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley THE DIRECTOR Gore Verbinski THE SKINNY The long-awaited seafaring sequel pits Keith Richards … er, Captain Jack Sparrow against the nefarious Davy Jones. THE DRAW Depp’s Sparrow is one of the cinema’s all-time greats. THE DOPE Disney is so confident in this franchise, they’re adding Depp’s and Rush’s characters to the amusement ride.
THE MOVIE X-Men: The Last Stand (May 26) THE STARS Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry THE DIRECTOR Brett Ratner THE SKINNY Bryan Singer directed the first two installments of this wildly successful franchise but bowed out of X3. THE DRAW X-Men’s bloated cast of characters gets even bigger this time out, with newly minted mutants Kelsey Grammer (“Cheers”) and Ellen Page (“Hard Candy”). THE DOPE The title suggests this is the end of the road for the X-Men, but it wouldn’t be on high note, unfortunately.
THE MOVIE The Omen (June 6) THE STARS Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles THE DIRECTOR John Moore THE SKINNY Like so many parents, diplomat Robert Thorne suspects his kid is the anti-Christ. THE DRAW This is a remake of the chilling 1976 classic, and everyone knows 70s horror flicks rule. Plus, the little boy is the DEVIL, and the film is being released on 6/6/6. THE DOPE The Tuesday release date might confuse filmgoers. I’m already out of sorts because of it.
THE MOVIE Nacho Libre (June 16) THE STARS Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera THE DIRECTOR Jared Hess THE SKINNY Jack Black dons spandex to play a Mexican wrestler who helps out needy orphans. THE DRAW Jack Black dons spandex to play a Mexican wrestler … what more can you ask for? THE DOPE Hess, who penned and directed “Napoleon Dynamite,” co-wrote this script with “School of Rock” scribe Mike White. For those of you keeping score, that’s two times the funny.
THE MOVIE The Devil Wears Prada (June 30) THE STARS Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway THE DIRECTOR David Frankel THE SKINNY Adaptation of Lauren Weisberger’s juicy autobiographical dish about the fashion world. People are already talking Oscar nom for Streep’s spot-on portrayal of an imperious magazine ed rumored to based, and not all that loosely, on Vogue’s Anna Wintour THE DRAW Fantastic opportunity to bond with fellow Anna Wintour haters. THE DOPE Looks like a sure-fire TDM (Tolerable Date Movie)
THE MOVIE Superman Returns (June 30) THE STARS Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey THE DIRECTOR Bryan Singer THE SKINNY Plot details are hard to come by, but we have it on good authority that Superman cuts short a vacation. THE DRAW Warner Bros spent $180 million to bring back the Man of Steel. We kinda owe them for that. THE DOPE This one looks super, man.
