By Jean Illsley Clarke Ph.D.

“Don’t let her in Katrina’s room. She’ll see that Katrina has 30 stuffed animals and she will know that Katrina is overindulged. We like having her come for dinner but …”

Yes, but … who wants to be judged? Not I. And I, Jean Illsley Clarke, am the “she” who came to dinner. Sure I knew about overindulgence. Yes, I am part of the research team for the overindulgence studies. And I do know some of the signs of overindulgence. But I certainly don’t know if 30 stuffed animals are an overindulgence for Katrina.

We don’t know about other people’s overindulgence because only they can determine that. I can tell you what I observed and you can use the “Test of Four” to make a guess about 30 stuffed animals.

Here is what I know.

- Katrina is the first child. She may well be the only.

- Katrina is the first grandchild.

- All of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live in other parts of the country.

- All of the adults involved are people of means.

- Katrina loves stuffed animals and whoever comes to visit brings one. Just one.

- She invents extensive zoo or wild animal games.

- The animals are all clean and in good repair. They do not appear to be abused or neglected.

LOOK AT THE ‘TEST OF FOUR’

1. Does having 30 pets keep Katrina from doing her developmental tasks? Remember that both learning to take care of toys and developing creativity through imaginative play are developmental tasks of a 4-year-old.

2. Does having 30 stuffed animals take an inordinate amount of the family resources? The pets are not elegant, designer creations. They look like regular $2 to $10 toys. The toys are suitably housed in her room.

3. Does this do harm to others or the environment?

4. Whose needs are being met? Do these toys meet some parental need to impress someone or compete with someone? Are the toys there because the parents didn’t have enough toys when they were young? Or are the parents buying toys because they feel guilty about being away at work so many hours a day? Only the parents can answer this one.

And what about your family? In your situation, considering your space, your child’s interests, your income and your tolerance for stuffed animals, would 30 of these toys be overindulgence for your 4-year-old?

Remember, abundance is what makes life better for a child; too much makes it worse.

There is more about the “Test of Four” in the How Much Is Enough? book and on the Web site: www.overindulgence.info.

(Jean Illsley Clarke Ph.D. can be reached at jiconsults@aol.com.)