Dear Dorie,

Can you give me some information about the latest trends in parenting regarding the differences in boys and girls? I have one of each, both below 5 years old, and I want to present a balanced environment. It’s pretty obvious that there are differences in approach already, but do I emphasize what they’re naturally interested in or push to broaden their experience?

Moms will be moms



Dear Moms,

This is a very thought-provoking topic backed up by tons of research, but first let me share my personal experience. I have two girls and my friend has two boys about the same age. In the beginning, we would call each other on a fairly regular basis to confirm that their interests or obsessions were gender-based. This conversation sounded like, “OK, totally into trucks. What about you?” The usual response was, “Yeah. Totally into trucks.” We worked our way through trucks, purses, dinosaurs, pink, pirates, mermaids and fairies until about age 3 when both sets seemed to diverge into the more stereotypical gender interest categories. We unscientifically concluded that they were interested in about the same things until they got into preschool where the social groups dictated interest with more persuasion than their own instinct.

Most important in pursuing a child’s balanced development is exposure. If your little girl is only interested in princesses, Disneyland is a must, but throw in some pirates and bugs as well. If your little boy only wants to play dumptruck, visit the waste and recycling center for sure, but add a trip to the theatre or art museum to the calendar. Exposure is everything and you are responsible for that.

Dorie

(Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program, provided by Saint John’s Health Center in partnership with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Meek answers questions concerning children ages birth to 5 years old. Submit your questions to “Dear Dorie” at meek@smmusd.org, or call (310) 452-6132; fax (310) 452-6392).