By Neale S. Godfrey
Special to the Daily Press

Figuring out what you really need and want and ignoring the enormous pressure to buy stuff you don’t is the cornerstone of good budgeting, but it’s a skill many of us don’t learn until well into adulthood.

Get your tiny consumers off on the right foot by teaching them the difference between “good” and “bad” spending. Good spending might be when you use money to buy something really necessary, like notebook paper for school. Bad spending might be using all the money in your wallet to buy candy. Think of some examples of your own that will be meaningful to your children.

It’s important to be a good spender or consumer. Kids can understand definitions like this one: A good consumer is a person who spends money wisely. The formula for a good consumer is simple. It requires equal parts of research and planning before you even walk into a store, plus a healthy dose of self discipline once you’re there. If we expressed it as an equation, it might look like this: Research + Planning + Discipline good consumer.

Let me expand a bit on this formula, because I think it cuts to the heart of being a wise consumer and savvy financial manager.

“Planning” is what you do to decide what you want to buy before you get into the store. Making a plan is another word for “budgeting.” And, as you know, I’m a big proponent of making and sticking to a budget. Planning is just as important for quick trips to the grocery store as it is for long-term savings goals. Spur-of-the-moment purchases are the biggest threat to a well-crafted budget. That’s why you should always plan what you’re going to buy before you leave the house.

“Research” means gathering all the pertinent information about your prospective purchase before you walk into the store or click your mouse. If I were buying an iPod today, I wouldn’t know if it cost $100 or $1,000. I’d have to do my research first. I’d investigate storage capacity and features to make sure I got one that suited my needs.

Chances are that, as a parent, you’ve already gotten your “degree” in consumer research. You pay attention to advertisements, watch for sales and buy items you will use. You might compare notes on big purchases with friends and neighbors. Those are all good techniques.

When it comes to “discipline,” things can get tricky. So I’ve developed a system for planning purchases wisely. I call it the M.E.S.S. System. I encourage you and your children to make a M.E.S.S every time you buy something!

M stands for “Make a List.” A shopping list is vital because it forces you to decide in advance what you really need and what you don’t before you’re in the high-pressure atmosphere of the store. It also reminds you to review your supplies before you leave the house.

E is for “Evaluate.” Differentiate between the things that are true necessities and things that are not. Necessities are the basic supplies you and your family use regularly and need to have at all times. I use three separate lists for this — toiletries, pantry and house. The toiletries list might include soap, deodorant and shampoo. The pantry list would cover things like sugar, milk and coffee. The house list itemizes things like dish soap, garbage bags and vacuum cleaner bags. Once you’ve put together your lists of essentials, your shopping decisions will become a lot easier.

S stands for “Shop the Ads.” Despite any suspicions you might have about advertising, it can be a great source of information about sales, products and availability. Particularly when you’re buying big-ticket items like a refrigerator or mattress. Don’t overlook TV and weekly newspapers, either. For me, shopping the ads is the most exciting aspect of the shopping game. I see it as an intellectual challenge to hunt for the best value at the lowest price, and I have fun finding it!

The last S stands for “Stick to the Agenda.” It’s so easy to be distracted and to “impulse buy” your way through a store. Don’t do it! Stick to your list. Be prudent about tossing (or letting the kids toss) additional items into the cart as you roll down the aisle. Try this stress-saving system with your children. It can make your life easier and help you stick to your budget.

Neale S. Godfrey has written 15 books, including “Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees,” and “Money Still Doesn’t Grow On Trees: A Parent’s Guide To Raising Financially Responsible Teens and Young Adults.”