Dear Dorie,

How can I get my 3-year-old to help clean up the messes he makes? I don’t want to go overboard, but I’m tired of feeling like a street sweeper all day. Please don’t say leave it alone — the whole house can be destroyed in one hour. Help!

Disliking Disarray



Dear Disliking,

Three-year-olds have the most amazing ability to enjoy chaos. They love to explore and see no clear-cut reason why toys and books must “live” neatly on the shelves. This is a good thing for their development, but most parents, on the other hand, need some semblance of order to relax. I’m going to assume you’re looking for the happy medium here.

You are exactly right in pursuing your son’s assistance. At 3 years of age, he can certainly help mommy clean up when he’s finished with an activity. Where we run into trouble is the expectation that he will return the items to their place of origin. It is better to simplify the clean-up process at first, in order to set him up for success in helping you. I chose the “bin” approach.

Put a small plastic laundry bin in each room (99 cents stores carry all different colors). Allow your son ample time to explore, create, play ... aka destroy ... as long as he’s not hurting himself or the physical surroundings. Once or twice a day, start clean-up time. Both of you simply pick up each item on the floor and place it in the bin. He feels good because he’s helping you clean up and you feel good because the room is organized.

There is the famous clean-up song to go with it: “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up, clean up, everybody do their share.” Feel free to call me to get the tune or make up your own.

If you make the process simple and fun, you might be promoted from street sweeper to bin keeper. Good luck.

Dorie

Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program. Submit your questions to meek@smmusd.org.