Dear Dorie,

What have I done wrong? Why can’t we get our 8-month-old son to sleep earlier than 11 p.m.? When he does go to sleep, he only stays down for about two hours or so. I can’t second-guess myself now, but I am a little concerned.

I am not always thrilled with their idea of letting him cry it out. Is there anything I can do to help this without resorting to ignoring his cries?

Pooped Parent



Dear Parent,

You have done nothing wrong! You are one of the majority of parents out there who have a challenged sleeper. Society doesn’t warn us about this part of parenting — they tell us that we’ll get a good night’s sleep after a few months and, as most parents know, that just isn’t true.

Falling asleep can be eased by establishing a familiar bedtime routine and sticking to it,; 11 p.m. is definitely a late night for an infant — you may have to begin your ritual as early as 6 p.m. just to get that bedtime closer to 8 p.m. or 9:00 p.m.

Staying asleep is another matter. As soon as he wakes up, check “the big 8.” Is he cold, hot, wet, dirty, hungry, thirsty, gassy or just grumpy? Establish a consistent response for you and your husband that focuses on meeting any need that you can see and then gently reminding your son that it is time to go back to sleep. Comfort your son and reassure him that, “It’s time to sleep, the world is still sleeping, etc.” This will help both you and he get back to some zzzs.

Dorie

Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program. Submit your questions to meek@smmusd.org.