By Melody Hanatani
Daily Press Staff Writer

DOWNTOWN A sense of déjà vu consumed Renè Buchanan as she walked through the doors of the Daybreak Shelter, the surroundings so familiar, yet something she couldn’t quite place in her memory.

Perhaps it was because the memory of her first stint in 1998 at the OPCC homeless shelter for mentally ill women was erased, as was the four years prior, a result of medication and shock-therapy treatments.

“When I walked into the door of Daybreak the second time … it seemed familiar but I didn’t remember being there,” Buchanan said last week of her second visit to the shelter in 2002. “A lot of the staff remembered me, but I didn’t remember them.”

After spending more than 13 years shuffled in and out of hospitals and treatment centers for misdiagnosed diseases such as schizophrenia, Buchanan, who at various times was homeless, decided to turn her life around in 2002, spending the next year participating in programs at Daybreak.

Now several years out of treatment at Daybreak and currently working full-time at an animal rescue center in Mar Vista, Buchanan is giving back to the shelter that gave her a second chance at life, volunteering part-time and hoping to pass that same second chance along to someone else.

“They don’t treat you like you’re mentally ill,” Buchanan said of OPCC. “You’re a human being first.”

While Buchanan currently lives in an apartment with her dogs in the Pico Neighborhood, her life was a completely different story back in the late 1980s when she left her job in bank management to deal with a bout of depression.

Buchanan spent several years in and out of hospitals, dealing with depression and battling suicidal thoughts, receiving treatments for mental illnesses she said she didn’t have.

The years between 1994 and 1998 are completely lost from her memory, a result from years of a combination of shock therapy treatments and medication. It was in 1998 that she first became homeless, staying with friends on the Westside and at Daybreak as she dealt with her depression.

After leaving Daybreak about a year later, she moved into an apartment in Mar Vista while still receiving hospital treatments for schizophrenia. The hospital staff reportedly told Buchanan she shouldn’t be left alone and encouraged her to enter a sober living facility, although the Santa Monican had been sober for about 10 years at that point.

She followed the doctor’s orders and began staying in a sober living home in Mar Vista around 2000. It was during her stay at the facility that she came into contact with a therapist who finally gave Buchanan a straight answer — she was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and it was curable.

“It was at that point the recovery began,” Buchanan said. “I felt I wasn’t destined to be sick for the rest of my life and that I could actually recover.”

After leaving the sober living facility in December 2001, Buchanan landed on the door step of OPCC where officials assigned her to Samoshel for three months. In March 2002, she was transferred to Daybreak where she would spend the next 11 months, participating in various programs, including quilting and jewelry making.

After finishing the program a few years ago, Buchanan joined the staff at OPCC and remained as a full-time employee until last fall when she was hired to work at the Perfect Pet Rescue in Mar Vista where she’s been a part-time volunteer since 2003.

Despite the challenges she faced in her life, Buchanan said she understands how fortunate she is to avoid ever living on the streets of Santa Monica, hearing stories from fellow Daybreak clients.

The jewelry-making program is one in which Buchanan is still active, helping to coordinate Daybreak-sponsored annual jewelry fairs.

“It’s an amazing feeling when you have no self-worth and someone buys something that you’ve made,” she said. “It helps you realize that you do have some worth.”

melodyh@smdp.com