By Dan Dunn

Well, America, here we are, six full years into the George W. Bush Presidency and I, for one, couldn’t be happier with the direction this country is headed. We’re mired in a seemingly un-winnable, unpopular and ludicrously expensive conflict in the Middle East, while at home middle- and lower-income families are getting their butts kicked in the administration’s War on the Working Class. Corruption is widespread at the highest levels of government, civil liberties are disappearing at an alarming rate, there’s a terrible healthcare crisis, the ozone is deteriorating, and polls indicate that the citizenry is more divided than it’s ever been on so-called “hot-button” issues such as abortion, gay marriage and the reasons behind Nick and Jessica’s breakup. But amidst all the turmoil and uncertainty in this country, one thing’s clear: These days, Americans have more reasons than ever to hit the bottle. That’s what we in the spirits reportage industry call “job security,” and for that, Mr. President, I raise a glass in your honor. Keep up the sub-par work in ’06!

Like so many of you, The Imbiber spent the holidays with friends and family inebriantly roasting my cognitive chestnuts night in and night out. But there was nary a morning that my Yuletide jollification waned thanks to a new herbal supplement called PartySmart. I’ve endorsed other hangover remedies in this space before, friends, and I gotta tell ya’, PartySmart is as effective as any I’ve tried. One pill, taken 30 minutes prior to imbibing, goes to work in the liver breaking down acetaldehyde (the toxic by-product of booze that causes headaches and nausea). PartySmart is a blend of six herbs, among them something called “bhumyamalaki,” which also happens to be the sound people often make in the toilet mornings after drinking too much. I’d recommend PartySmart to anyone, even the president but — despite trouble signs that suggest otherwise — he reportedly doesn’t drink anymore. (Hard to believe, eh?) This latest cure for the common hangover can be purchased online at www.partysmart.net. Cost: $10 per 10-dose pack.

(Thirsty for more Imbiber? Pull up a barstool at www.TheImbiber.com)