Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program, provided by Saint John's Health Center in partnership with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Meek answers questions concerning children ages birth to 5 years old.
My daughter is two years, two months old and I am still breastfeeding. I had planned from the beginning to let breastfeeding “play out naturally”, letting her wean herself when she was ready, if possible. She is still very much interested in the “nunu” and usually wants her free hand all over the free breast — this is getting annoying and uncomfortable for me. I can usually work it out, but I just thought that by now, she would be a little less attached to my breasts. What’s going on with her?
FYI – Lately, I have sometimes been able to direct her toward food or another activity fairly easily if she asks to nurse during a time that is not appropriate. She is independent, very social and active, and otherwise seems to have a healthy attachment to me.
Dear Mom,
First, congratulations! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all infants be breastfed for a year or more while the World Health Organization (WHO) and United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) recommend continuation for two years or more. Not all women can do this. You did. Well done.
Second, your daughter’s behavior and attachment to your “nunu” is completely appropriate for her age and breastfeeding history. She is “self-soothing” in a very natural and normal manner. In fact, her relaxed arm reaching for you while feeding is a sign of comfort and confidence. She will wean on her own pace, especially if her eating habits are healthy. It is quite common for 2-year-olds (including my second-born) to appear as if they’re going to be “nunuing” to kindergarten and then, all at once, lose interest and be done.
What I can’t tell from your letter is, what’s going on with you? Breastfeeding is extremely demanding — physically and emotionally. Weaning, therefore, is inherently difficult. It is a personal choice and completely subjective. You are allowed to say, “I can’t take it any more!” or “I can’t stop!” When you know it is time to quit, use honesty and respect with a toddler. A common phrase is, “Mommy’s body needs to stop making milk now.” Above all, allow your daughter to talk about the “nunu” in real dialogue, stories or dramatic play. You’ll both work it out together. Good luck.
(Submit your questions to “Dear Dorie” at meek@smmusd.org or call (310) 452-6132)
