> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # All kids aside: Keep the children in check - URL: https://www.smdp.com/all-kids-aside-keep-the-children-in-check/ - Published: 2006-09-26T15:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-25T01:03:14.000Z - Author: David Pisarra - Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import *WHAT’S THE POINT?* “Ladies and Gentlemen.” That phrase is overused, misunderstood and generally inapplicable to today’s society. At one time it actually had meaning — back in a time when people recognized class levels amongst the members of the society they lived in. It is an anachronistic throwback to a time of politeness that seems to have disappeared as surely as the woolly mammoth. The term “ladies” used to refer to women who were genteel, they maintained some decorum and manners. They attended to the princess or queen in the royal courts and they had social standing that was considered superior to other females in the community. “Gentlemen” referred to the men who had some nobility, and acted with chivalry, courtesy and honor in their daily lives. The leading attribute of each of those two designations is a sense of propriety, a measure of politeness and gentility. Not a stuffy, one-upsmanship game of fake superiority but a regalness in bearing and behavior that allows people to get along with each other. It is still present in our society, occasionally. Generally we see examples of it in the southern charm that is exuded by transplants from that land of graciousness, Georgia and its neighbors. Occasionally, I see it here, but usually only in people of a certain age, and that age is north of 60. I know from my own experience that bad manners, poor behavior and a general lack of awareness of those around me have generally resulted in my becoming angry and frustrated, and all I want to do is shoot someone. For example, last week I was out to dinner with my boyfriend at a local Thai restaurant — one of those white linen tablecloth places on Santa Monica Boulevard where the food is gorgeous, the décor is impeccable and the patrons are generally there for a date, or at least a quiet dinner with a loved one. The restaurant was about 80 percent full, mostly couples. Then there was the family table. It wasn’t a family table like six adults all out for dinner. No, it was six adults, with their families of obnoxious, ill-behaved, overly energetic, horrific noisemakers, who were allowed to run amok in the restaurant. Kids are kids. I understand that. Which is why I have chosen not to pursue having them. We have enough people on this planet and I don’t see the need to increase the genetic pool out of some vain attempt to leave an heir. My family branch can end with me and I’m fine with that. Children are a huge responsibility and a tremendously taxing burden upon their parents — financially, socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically. I don’t think anyone should have a child unless they are ready, willing and able to sacrifice their life to the duties and obligations of parenthood. Which brings me back to the restaurant. The party of six adults had six children in various stages of development. Several babies were present, hanging about their mothers in those sling things that make it look like Mom has a huge disfiguring growth she is trying to hide. The babies were all quiet except for the occasional burbled utterance. There were two little girls, no more than 4 and 8 years old. The girls were allowed to run around the restaurant, shrieking in that high-pitched way that only other girls and dolphins can understand. They were running in and out of the banisters, flopping down on the floor, impetuously charging into waiters who were carrying flaming bowls of hot soup, and generally being young children who are up well past their bedtime. My anger is directed not at the children, for they were being children and acting in the only way they know how. The parents on the other hand, should be taken out and thoroughly flogged. As we sat down, and were engulfed in this tornado of pre-teen terror, there was a father at the big table of parents who kept sheepishly looking over at me. Perhaps this was because my frustration began to air itself in the comments that I was making by way of a stage whisper that could be heard throughout the restaurant. One would have thought that a comment or two would have sufficed to make the parents take notice and correct the situation. One would be wrong. It wasn’t until the loudest of the girls let out a shriek that rivaled scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis that the parents even noticed their wayward charges. It sparked a harsh comment from me that the parents should take their kids outside, which was thankfully honored. Soon after that, the parents paid their check and exited the restaurant and the other patrons could finally relax to enjoy their meals. As they were leaving, one of the mothers, with her “baby in a bag” carefully draped across her chest, approached our table to apologize for the noise. I told her it wasn’t the noise that was most annoying, it was the fact that no one noticed or was correcting their children. Her response to this was beyond appalling to me: “you know, sometimes, when you have kids, it’s hard.” Actually, I do know, that’s why I have a dog, and frankly he has better table manners than those children did. A parent’s job is to raise their children to be well-behaved members of society. Yes, it is an exhausting job. And yes, it can be overwhelming at times. But if you are overwhelmed, you should not be taking the children to better dining establishments and ignoring them. It is rude to the other customers and it is not teaching the children how to behave properly. If people must have children, they cannot choose when to pay attention and when to ignore them. If they cannot assume all the responsibilities of parenting, there are ways of dealing with the situation, from abortion to baby-sitters. We live in a land where domestic help is cheap and plentiful. If you can afford to go out to eat, you can afford a baby-sitter. And to those who say they can do one but not the other, I say tough tacos, stay at home. My parents would never have let me get away with wild behavior in a fine restaurant, that’s what Round Table Pizza was for. (David Pisarra is a business development lawyer in the Santa Monica firm of Pisarra & Grist. He welcomes your questions and comments. He or (310) 664- 9969.) *Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on September 26, 2006.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/092606.pdf?ref=smdp.com)