> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Although boring, home is still where the heart is - URL: https://www.smdp.com/although-boring-home-is-still-where-the-heart-is/ - Published: 2004-04-26T15:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-24T23:55:57.000Z - Author: Guest Author - Tags: Opinion, Downtown, #archive-import *By Caroline Bodkin* On day two of this year’s Easter visit home, as I was giving my boyfriend a driving tour of my hometown, pointing out the pretty, clean tidy homes, beautiful mountains, my grand old high school, making note of how the downtown’s really becoming more interesting, I began to hear swelling pride and joy in my voice. He heard it too, and asked me, “Do you want to move back here?” At age 18 we leave home because home is boring. It’s known, it’s calm, it’s safe, it’s settled. We leave to unsettle ourselves, to shake up that safety. I think that’s a good thing. No matter where you grow up, be it Minnesota or Manhattan, you should leave the place you’re from if you can. You must leave it, to give yourself room to see your shape outside the place and people that helped shape you. So, compulsively, we move away. But even so, we love the place we’re from. Easterners love the East, Westerners love the West. Small towns beckon to those who grew up in them, desert sand softens children of that dry heat, and mountains soothe those who were young in their shadow. No one place is better than another. Home has its own spell on each of us. And as far as moving back, I never thought I’d want to and was always quick to say I wouldn’t. But when I was asked that question this time, I paused. Home. I missed it, I loved it. And after spending so many years rejecting it, it seems that although I might not have moved back, I’ve welcomed it back. So I have to ask, is it the place I welcome back, or do I crave the feeling of peace it provides? For a friend of mine, it was the latter. She also never thought she’d move back, had rejected it as wholly and fully as I had, moved when she was 18 and never checked the rearview. But last year, when she and her 3-week-old son left his cheating father, she came home. Why? Because she was in trouble? Because she needed help? Maybe, but maybe it also just made sense. It’s where her mom and dad and aunt and cousins are. It’s familiar, it’s beautiful, it’s safe. And she has another friend who just had a baby, and they’ll be able to raise them together. Her choice was pretty clear: life in chaos, must raise small child, time to go home. It’s so strange, but the truth is, I sort of envy her that clarity. For the rest of us, the choice to return to peace isn’t quite so clear. We grow up thinking we need to conquer the world, be so many things both big and bigger, do it all and see it all, and we push ourselves. Keep moving, keep going, keep finding. Do it all. But having it all is not possible, and it’s not life’s purpose — it can’t be, that’d be too depressing. For my friend, her purpose is to make life simple so she can raise her kid. We think that what’s simple or comforting is just easier, or a cop out. Even failure. But really, life’s hard and sometimes the seemingly “easier” road isn’t easier at all (do you think she’ll have it “easy” even now?). The “easy” road home might just be more sensible. You want peace, find peace. It’s OK. “Do you want to move back here?” my boyfriend asked. And my gut says, “maybe,” even while I’m listing all the things I love about our life together elsewhere. Everything in its time, for a reason, I think. I had to leave home in order to know I love it. It’s where I’m from. It’s a part of me even still, maybe even more than ever. But until I make it back (and maybe I never will …) I hold onto it. Home is settled, but home settles inside. (Caroline Bodkin is from Salt Lake City but lives in LA … for now … like we all pretend to. You can ). *Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 26, 2004.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/042604.pdf?ref=smdp.com)