> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Buzz’in Santa Monica - URL: https://www.smdp.com/buzzin-santa-monica-20060814/ - Published: 2006-08-14T15:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-23T21:11:26.000Z - Author: Guest Author - Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import, Homeless definitions intro ... Well, it seems not all are fans of the Buzz-meister. After just one week of writing insights and witticisms, one Daily Press reader was moved to request he be taken off the paper’s mailing list, pointing out “there is nothing polite or decent” about Buzz’s stories. Well, Ben, maybe the highbrow humor was lost on you, and that’s OK, there’s no shame in liking vanilla, that’s why they make it. Point taken, we hope you will keep reading and give Buzz a second chance to raise his standards. As for opinions, well, “Buzz” knows everyone has one, just like -- \[editor’s cuts made in sense of decency and politeness\]... ... Meanwhile, another reader (who apparently is drawn to the crassness of it all) was telling Buzz about the Jerry Garcia-looking dude in Borders on the Promenade the other week. Looking a tad suspicious, he procured a grip of Ann Coulter books and walked off to a far corner of the bookstore. Intrigued, the Buzz buddy went in pursuit, only to find Grateful Guy deep-filing the Coulter collection behind some obscure history books. A job well done, Buzz and friend nodded... ... In our “Crash” movie moment item of the week, Buzz was out buying a six-pack at a liquor store on Broadway on Friday night (’cause that’s the way Buzz brings it) when two patrons — a middle-aged white man and a black youth (with no ID, Buzz might add)— began going at it. Apparently, they both reached the register — manned by a man of Asian descent — at the same time and an argument ensued over which one was the bigger “bit\_\_.” The youth pulled off his shirt and announced he just got out of “the pen.” The man said that’s where he belonged and that he should go back” to Boyle Heights.” Intriguing, yes, but not worth delaying Buzz’s Fat Tire sixer... ... In an update to our popular “Cornbread” entry of a week ago, whereby a woman in a public beach bathroom was imploring a man to give her the Southern dinner staple with gusto, a Buzz reader informs us that “the indigenous Indians of Central America have passed down through Palamayo dialect an expression of lovespeak still used today, roughly translating, ‘Yare my corn, or maize, or bread made of corn,’ but more specifically meaning, ‘my sustenance,’ or ‘you light up my life.’ Buzz doesn’t know what Debbie Boone has to do with any of this, but he may just open up a cornbread stand if peeps get this excited about it... ... While Buzz was getting a stylish new pair of fatigues at the Supply Sergeant on Lincoln Boulevard last weekend, none other than Mr. Dead Man Walking — Sean Penn — came strolling in. Penn was kind enough to sign an autograph for Buzz, but in all the excitement, Buzz left the store without his favorite means of transport, his skateboard. Passing a group of skaters on the way home, Buzz realized his precious board was still at the store. At Supply Sergeant, the staff informed him that his board had just become more valuable, as the Oscar-winner returned to his “Spicoli” roots and took Buzz’s board for a few carves around the store.... ... Buzz likes to tan on the beach as much as the next guy. While soaking up some rays recently, Buzz beheld an unusual sight — a very hairy gentleman wearing nothing more than Looney Tunes boxer shorts stormed past Buzz. The man made eye contact with no one and had a supreme look of determination. Upon reaching his shoreline destination, the man began to do a series of acrobatics, including handstands and cartwheels. Following the completion of his routine, he leapt into the surf before storming back up the beach. With his boxers now wet, Buzz thought he saw a “Putty Tat”... ... A homeless gent was typing away on his laptop outside the Internet cafe where Buzz likes to get his morning jolt. The man sat on the backside of the building, stealing the wireless connection, shopping cart securely by his side. The orange Mac laptop had surely seen better days, and Buzz could only wonder what the man was surfing for. Maybe he was adding friends to his MySpace page or doing a little eBay shopping... ... Buzz was cruising Lincoln Boulevard for the ladies the other night, and boy did he find one. Near Pico Boulevard, Buzz spyed a large black man in the 230-pound range flaunting his goods and “working it.” The man — bedecked in stunner shades, a short denim jacket and matching pink bra and panty set — left little to Buzz’s imagination. His ensemble also featured black lace-up platform stilettos to accentuate his considerable curves. Buzz’s search for ladies took a considerably wrong turn... got buzz? (tag from last week) *Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on August 14, 2006.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/081406.pdf?ref=smdp.com)