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# By Mark Marchillo Odd Man Out
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/by-mark-marchillo-send-comments-to-editor-smdp-com-odd-man-out-20070823/
- Published: 2007-08-23T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-25T00:45:35.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*The art of the hook-up can become tiresome*

SO I HOOKED UP THE OTHER NIGHT. I’M neither a hooker nor am I a trick, but the term still applies.Which was actually one of the conversations he and I had prior to getting down to business. In our world, you gotta set the record straight.As straight as possible, anyhow. That said, hooking up with a guy who would consider me a trick and still be cool with that, does give one reason to pause.And I did.

Then he hit fast forward. Funny the things that run through one’s mind while stripping down. Shouldn’t we have kissed first? Why is it all so quick? Firstly, let me declare — there was no nudity involved here (well very little). I’m way prude, as everyone probably has guessed by now. My version of “hooking up” pretty much consists of sleeping. Well, he slept. And snored. I tossed. I know, not a true hook-up. This is a process for me. I usually don’t get this far, and almost never do I sleep over. I absolutely hate it. But, he was truly beautiful and after a while, it was nice. To be close to someone, even with all the pretenses is still a good deal. After all, who is this guy? I dunno. I don’t even know that I cared at the moment. He seemed into it, and who was I to argue.

So again, we only slept. In underwear. Watching “Terabithia” or something. Watching Disney while doing the illicit is so fun. So is waking up with no toothbrush or deodorant in sight. Overnight bags stashed in the backseat are absolutely essential in this day and age! Ah, that walk of shame feels mighty judgmental at 11 a.m.

And wow, were my friends gleeful. Has it really been that long? Oh right — it has.

People must gauge happiness by sex. All the while my friends are hooting and congratulating I’m thinking, “They must have a lot of it … that’s why there’s friends and then there are lovers.”

I’m telling you, this town is so overloaded with sex it sparkles. But the morning after, that sparkle has dulled. It has withered and died. Gone the way of all flesh: Puffy, saggy and creased. Still, no one complains. A lousy morning hangover is 100 percent proof that you had a grand ol’ night.

So I hooked up. So what? That’s just it. So what. Maybe it felt good. Sure. But right? No. But for me, it only feels right with … well, all in the past. I suppose if we feel good during the act, and nothing afterwards, at least we felt good sometime.

MARK MARCHILLO is a freelance filmmaker and all-together nice guy living in Santa Monica. Send comments or suggestions regarding his column to

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on August 23, 2007.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/082307.pdf?ref=smdp.com)