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# By Mark Marchillo Odd Man Out
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/by-mark-marchillo-send-comments-to-editor-smdp-com-odd-man-out-20071130/
- Published: 2007-11-30T16:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-25T01:18:42.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*The endless hunt*

*By MARK MARCHILLO is a freelance filmmaker and all-together nice guy living in Santa Monica. Send comments or suggestions regarding his column to*

PASTS. EVERYBODY HAS ONE. THEY SEEM to resurrect themselves at the most inopportune moments of your present. Some of us have a sneaky habit of trying desperately to hide our torrid transgressions, while others celebrate them with flair. Even others relish the pomp and circumstance in revealing others’ dirty doings, with the proper amount of audience and just a pinch of spectacle. I’m speaking, of course, of the gossip gay.

I was at a party last week. Actually it was a slumber party. Little soiree amongst friends. A few. Handful really. You know. Pizza. Beer. Pillow fights. Soulja Boy dance off. The works. And naturally, Truth or Dare. Not Madonna’s. During which one of my friends chose just the perfect moment to spill: Craigslist ad. Santa Monica. Hookup. The recent past. An ad he posted himself and so willingly chimed about. Like the bell of a mooing cow. He also shared with all of us some of the responses he had received. Namely, mine. Me. The prude. Ah, revelers. Shamelessly shaming others for a little ugly glory. What fun. For there I sat. The boy who “doesn’t do that sort of thing.” Well apparently he does. Moo.

Guilty as charged. I suppose it matters little that I rarely partake. What’s probably more the point is that this kind of online search is normal in the gay community. The endless quest for sex. Responding to ads that include little more than a horny description of wares and a picture of the poster’s particular anatomy. Desperate are we? We are. Careful? Not exactly.

Craigslist. The anonymous hookup corner. Where cruising has gone to die a slow death. Yet it’s become a part of gay culture. This type of cruising certainly affords a guy a lot of opportunity. For just about anything he can imagine (excuse me while I bathe). I can’t deny I’ve done it. Well, not a lot of “it,” as we know. But why be ashamed? My friend certainly wasn’t. I do tend to hide under that guise of innocence and responsibility. Though for the most part, I am those things.

So the point? Not sure there is one. That life, libido and the pursuit of satisfying it is better left in the shadows of the Internet’s wall of protection? Or, everyone does it, so why hide? I don’t know. But we all do things we wouldn’t want our priests, mothers, or dearest friends to know.

The past surfaces. As cliché as it sounds, there’s good in living honorably. If only to save you from mortification in front of a room-full. But when you can’t, when the urge strikes, wear a shroud of pride. In whatever you do. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one staring back at you in the mirror.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 30, 2007.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/113007.pdf?ref=smdp.com)