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# Strangers aren’t the only molesters
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/find-good-company-when-getting-divorce/
- Published: 2005-04-05T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-23T06:32:57.000Z
- Author: David Pisarra
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*By Marilyn Brennan Santa Monica*

I wish to thank Pattie Fitzgerald for her letter (SMDP, March 30, page 4), “Megan’s Law only half the battle,” which addresses the issue of the importance of prevention in cases of child sexual abuse, and warning parents about where the danger may truly be.

My family and I wrote and produced an Emmy nominated documentary on this subject, and Ms. Fitzgerald is entirely correct in her statement that 90 percent of abuse occurs at the hands of someone the child knows and trusts rather than at the hands of a stranger. Children are mostly taught that the weirdo down the street is to be avoided and perhaps they should be, but the child should also be made aware that clean-cut, church-going uncle Joe or neighbor Marge is also not to touch them inappropriately.

Most children do see danger from odd looking people rather than someone they are familiar with. In one instance, the police conducted a “test” with children who had been taught never to go with a stranger. In the park, with the parent observing on a TV monitor, a clean-cut police officer, nicely dressed, approached the child and kindly asked them if they would help him look for a lost puppy. Every single child went willingly into the bushes with this man. When the shocked parent asked why they went with a stranger when they had been warned never to do so, every single child replied, “But he wasn’t a stranger, he was nice.” So maybe ask your child to describe what they think a “stranger” looks like. You may be surprised. So parents, please also caution your child about those in a position of trust: The minister, the priest, the teacher, the relative, the friend of the family, as well as the “stranger.”

When my granddaughter was 3, we were in the Santa Monica Place mall where the police had a display of equipment, motorcycles, pamphlets, etc. My granddaughter was admiring the motorcycle and the officer asked her if she wanted to sit on it. She said she did and when he went to lift her, she said, “No. I want my nana to lift me up.” The policeman thought that was great. He complimented her for her stand on who put their hands on her.

You may feel it’s compromising the innocence and trust of the child to warn them about people they should be able to trust, but since the statistics show that this is the group most likely to molest a child, believe me, the consequences of not warning the child are unspeakable.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 5, 2005.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/040505.pdf?ref=smdp.com)