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# Making a case for Lipo-Diesel as fuel
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/making-a-case-for-lipo-diesel-as-fuel/
- Published: 2008-05-14T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-25T00:03:23.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import, Homeless

*By Steve “the Mailman” Breen Going Postal STEVE BREEN is a beefy, corn-fed Republican slathered in tangy barbecue sauce and is still “the best looking mailman at the U.S. Post Office.” He*

ON SUNDAY, THE 27TH OF APRIL 2008, our cousins in the United Kingdom launched the “…fastest eco-boat on the planet \[the Earthrace\]…” that will attempt to set the speed record for the circumnavigation of the globe by the first bio-diesel powered water craft using fuel made from … lipo-suctioned human fat.

After I stopped laughing and picked myself up from the floor, I immediately bought stock in McD’s, Burger King and KFC while it was rumored that Exxon sunk an offshore platform on one of Rosie O’Donnell’s chins.

Since there is little difference between land or sea diesel engines we need to kick corn derived ethanol to the curb as our preferred fuel alternative for the future. Since enviro- Nazis have forced our limpid liberal Legislature to devote 28 percent of our corn production into taxpayer subsidized bio-fuels, which has in turn, created a massive global food shortage, this fortuitous turn to “lipo-diesel” may be the solution to our pollution.

The fuel source of the future can be found no further than your own love handles! Do you realize that the untapped “fuel reserves” alone in the offices of plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills may rival the pools of petroleum in Saudi Arabia? You can be eco-cool, perennially thin and eat anything you want. Fat is the new black.

Americans have the fattest fannies on the planet, tipping the scales at a “big boned” BFA of 31 percent.

Can you say, “MOO?” Heck, even the homeless in this country are fat. Never again would you have to skimp on the double chili cheese bacon fries with buttermilk ranch dressing and then order a DIET Coke. You could splurge and order the regular Coke instead.

After that, you could roll over to a “Lipo- Fuel” station, have the attendant do a quick suck and tuck job, fill the titanic twin tanks of your Bio-Hummer IV and slosh off in search of other oleaginous adventures.

Folks, to enviro-pimp Congressionally inflated price-controlled ethanol while posturing about doing your part for climate change as the world community slowly starves to death on your behalf so you can drive your GM Global Warmer with self righteous impunity tarnishes your “green” plated credibility.

If you want to do something about the grim fairy tale of global warming, try walking more, taking the bus or riding that bike that’s been collecting dust in your garage. Leave your car keys at home.

Most of the info that Jane Q. Public knows about global warming fits on a bumper sticker in back of her Granola-mobile while enviro-zombies just point and drool toward the Gore-y spook film, “An Inconvenient Truth” as the indictment of everyone else’s planetary carbon footprint except their own.

Despite the film’s accolades and disputed science it is interesting to note that in a recent NY Times article, noted M.I.T. scientist and hurricane expert Kerry Emmanuel, whose work is prominently featured in the film, has published a new paper on the subject that refutes his own original work that was foundational to “Turth.” How inconvenient.

Many of the coffee house intelligentsia call it “global warming” which has evolved as of late into “climate change” since Mama Gaia ceased her menviropausal hot flashes recently and decided to cool off in the last couple of years and go shoe shopping. What another inconvenient truth.

I don’t get too excited over the rueful labels of global warming or climate change. Most of us at the U.S. Postal Service call it by the old fashioned name: The weather.

Nobel Laureate Gore neglected the science of astronomy and the impact of Milutin Milankovitch’s 1930’s book, “Mathematical Climatology and the Astronomical Theory of Climatic Change,” which is the seminal work on the relationship between ice ages and our planetary obliquity, precession, and eccentricity or for the shrubs out there, the inconvenient tilt, pitch and wobble of the earth and their effect on weather cycles.

In the meantime, our near pornographic fascination with ethanol has driven world food markets into the Ninth Ring of Hell. Due to rising grain prices in Haiti the locals were making cookies from salt, vegetable oil and dirt. At least they got their RDA of minerals, eh? The weather is the number one problem facing the world today? Try nutrition. Adequate food and water supplies are more important than inadequate sunscreen and deodorant.

Subsidized corn should feed people before your gas tank. A person can live for about eight weeks without food; three days without water. How much did you feed your car this week?

In the meantime, have another piece of pie.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on May 14, 2008.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/051408.pdf?ref=smdp.com)