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# One is the loneliest number, but also the safest bet
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/one-is-the-loneliest-number-but-also-the-safest-bet/
- Published: 2005-02-08T16:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-24T23:11:52.000Z
- Author: David Pisarra
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*WHAT’S THE POINT?*

The Bible says that where “any two agree on something, so shall it be.” It’s frequently said that a great woman is behind a great man, but lately the reverse has been true of remarkable women. Great partnerships are revered throughout history, whether it be Spencer and Katherine, David and Jonathan, Abraham and Mary, or Hewlett and Packard.

The fact is that a good partnership, whether it be romantic or business, allows both parties to grow stronger than either could alone. It really is not a matter of one plus one equaling two, but rather they become more than the sum of their parts. In my love life, I have been blessed to have a great romantic partner, a man who is steady and true. In my business life, I have experienced the joys of a good partnership twice and been burned once.

Professionally, I have a partner who I can rely upon to take up the slack in areas of the law firm management that I have neither the inclination nor the skill for. In return, I provide a measure of marketing that he doesn’t want.

The sleep lab that I am building is in partnership with a man who is able to understand that there are issues beyond the immediate. He can see the future, we share a vision of what will be a tremendous business. It’s a business that will put his children through college, and allow me to have a ranch to escape to.

Then there’s the business partner who took my money, my advice and then would only call me to yell at me. I trusted someone and lived to regret it. It hurts, it’s costly, it won’t kill me, and it won’t make me stop going into partnerships, but I will go into them with a more jaundiced eye, and written agreements are now mandatory for all types of relationships.

As a lawyer I hear it all the time, “I don’t need an agreement with him, he’s a good Christian.” Or “I’ve known her for five years, and she always has been fair to me.” I’m in trial this week on just such a case. One guy — a man who is trusting and honest, who makes handshake deals and lives up to them — became involved in a new business venture that had all the sexiness of a good business. He had fast cars, high profits, a growing market and the right product. He came to me to ask my opinion, and I fell in love with the business. The marketing was a lay down program that we designed in an afternoon.

Then we started negotiations with his business partner. This was a man who was a “good Christian man.” Now, I’m not anti-religious, but when a person is constantly with the “praise Jesuses” and the “God bless yous,” it just strikes me as a little forced and, frankly, phony.

Negotiations didn’t go so well. We came up with a plan to minimize liabilities and risks, developed the marketing, and found a new larger warehouse. There was only one problem, the “business partner” didn’t want to sign any documents. He just wanted to be trusted. I argued against going into the business with a partner who was unwilling to sign a document.

The unwillingness is what really annoys me and is a red flag for danger. When someone is unwilling to put in writing what their obligations are, it means they don’t intend to honor them. When a person has a relatively new relationship with someone, and they are being asked to be trusted, it’s a warning sign.

My law partner and I have known each other for more than 10 years. Somewhere in our files is a signed agreement. We haven’t looked at it since the day we signed it. We haven’t had to, because we were each willing to sign it and live by it, which paradoxically means that we don’t really have to. We’ve built trust by having an agreement and not needing it. We don’t fight over the little things, and we rarely fight over the big things.

I probably speak with three people a week who want to start a partnership, open a business or have already done either of those, and most of the time, I ask really odd questions of them. I ask questions like, “Is your prospective business partner married?” “How long?” “Have you seen them interact as a couple?” “Does your new partner have a best friend?” “How long have they been friends?” “Do they own a pet?”

These are all non-business related questions that will tell me a great deal about not only my client’s new partner but also my client. If the client cannot answer these questions, then they don’t know enough about their partner’s life. And if they can answer them, then the answers will determine who is a good partner candidate and who isn’t. A married person who has a best friend from grammar school with a couple of dogs, that’s a better business prospect than a single person who has no close friends or animals. The first one knows responsibility, what it means to be answerable, the other is more likely to be a self centered, selfish loser who will take all your money, destroy your trust, and make you wish we had the death penalty for scam artists.

Partnerships can be beautiful, wonderful things that can add to your life immeasurably whether it’s in the love department, or the pocket book. But the great ones require work and knowledge of who you are getting in bed with, figuratively or literally. (David Pisarra or (310) 664-9969).

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on February 8, 2005.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/020805.pdf?ref=smdp.com)