> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Polar bear politics - URL: https://www.smdp.com/polar-bear-politics/ - Published: 2008-06-11T15:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-25T00:14:52.000Z - Author: Guest Author - Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import *By Steve “the Mailman” Breen Going Postal* THEY’RE CUTE, FUZZY AND WHITE. They’ve made Coca Cola a fortune in cold cash as it’s iconic Yuletide mascot. You just want to go up and hug one of these “threatened” carnivores yet please remember, however, that the 1,300-pound mega-fauna in question eats meat. You are made out of meat. You may be friendly toward the polar bear but a polar bear thinks of you as an entrée. Existentially speaking, I would like to place an environmentalist and a Washington lawyer on a shrinking ice floe with a polar bear for gladiatorial purposes … on pay-per-view. I’ll bet the lawyer would come in a close second. The enviro-bozo would be sprinkled with parsley and have an apple stuck in his mouth. Ursus maritimus is a contemporary of modern Homo sapiens. The evolutionary histories of all 19 sub-species are coincident over the last 200,000 years with our own. Much like man, polar bears have proven an adaptable species over several glacial and de-glacial periods from the late-Middle Pleistocene era to the end of the Holocene period up until modern times. My guess is that if Jack and Jill Cave Man made it this far up the evolutionary hill then Mr. and Mrs. Nanuk of the North really don’t need a hand out from us unless that hand is coated in an elegantly sublime Bear-naise sauce. The current craze of faux Enviro-ggedon, spawned by the Chicken Littles of “climate change,” means to suggest that our anthropocentric activities are the greatest threat to the polar bear’s survivability according to the flatulent voodoo of “global warming.” In the 1970’s our enviro-malaise was “global cooling” while in the 1890-1900’s it was an overabundance of “horse manure.” In the 1890’s, young Henry Ford was still fooling around with a rickety contraption called a “quadri-cycle.” According to new Luddites of enviro-theology, your liberal use of your “quad” is drowning defenseless polar bears. Mama Gaia is succinctly more lethal to the survival of all species on her surface than any of the allegedly puny eco-gaffes attributed to our Lilliputian consumer enterprises. When Mount St. Helens popped her cork in 1980, the resultant airborne materiel blew an estimated 1,040,000,000,000 pounds of ash across the US and caused complete darkness in broad daylight in Spokane, WA. 250 miles away. The volcanic debris ejected into the atmosphere during the two-week period of Luciferian activity was greater than the total pollution output of the entire era of the Industrial Revolution. No polar bears were drowned. When Krakatoa cracked up in 1883, it belched forth with a force, rated on the Volcanic Explosively Index, of an estimated 13,000 times the explosive yield than what was served on a piping hot irradiated platter at Hiroshima. The resultant explosion from Krakatoa was four times the size of Mount St. Helens. The pollution was incalculable yet in the succeeding five years after the explosion, average worldwide temperatures dropped 2.16 F and sulfurous acid rain fell in world-wide torrential buckets due to the “fallout.” It is postulated that another previous eruption from the “Krak” in 583 ACE caused a similar global “nuclear winter” and contributed to global crop failures that were well documented in Europe and China during the period. OK, check one last example. MSNBC recently reported that Yellowstone Park, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, ranks 21st among 169 “high threats” for volcanic activity in the US. That’s in the top 12 percent, ladies and gen-tlemen. The inconvenient truth here is that Yellowstone is the largest volcanic vortex in the continental U.S. If you think Mount St. Helens put on a pyroclastic lap dance then an eruption at Yellowstone promises to be a Bob Fosse production of Plinian proportions. The Yellowstone Caldera is 1575 sq. mi. while Krakatoa was only 25 sq. mi. Yellowstone is starting to bulge; this is not good. The outcome of a Yellowstone eruption would make Krakatoa look like a box of sparklers lit up on the 4th of July. Do the math … pretty grim numbers. Also according to the same article, five Yellowstone bison simply dropped dead from the inhaling poisonous gases trapped at surface level while grazing. Not a polar bear in sight. While the USGS doesn’t feel a cataclysmic event is in the “foreseeable future,” the recurrence of such an event is “neither regular nor predictable.” Hmmm. Let me get this straight … if the USGS doesn’t think anything is going to happen, why did they move Yellowstone so high up the eyeball list? I’ll take my chances with the bear on the ice floe. STEVE BREEN is a climate change atheist and still “best looking mailman at the post office.” He *Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on June 11, 2008.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/061108.pdf?ref=smdp.com)