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# 'The Cat In The Hat' Panned as a Crude, Offensive Money Grab
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/review-20031121/
- Published: 2003-11-21T16:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-23T03:15:45.000Z
- Author: Dan Dunn
- Tags: Entertainment, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*Myers’ ‘Cat in the Hat’ should be put in litter box*

The first thought I had as I emerged from the theater, gasping for air, following a screening of the noxious film “Dr. Seuss’The Cat In The Hat” was that if the 6-foot-tall talking feline who wears the red-and-white striped hat were to make a deposit in the litter box, whatever was left in the gravel would certainly be a damn sight prettier than this repulsive piece of crap. A brazen money grab masquerading as family fare, “The Cat In The Hat” may very well be the most gawd-awful and patently offensive picture of this or any other year. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a massive flea infestation. For the crime they committed against Seuss’ compact classic, everyone associated with the film should be neutered without anesthesia then forced to spend a weekend locked up with Mike Meyers as he “riffs,” which is entertainment-biz jargon for “annoys ’til your ears bleed.” But Meyers’ coughed-up-hairball of a performance — his Cat plays like the mutant offspring of Charles Nelson Reilly and “Saturday Night Live” talk-show host Linda Richman — doesn’t even crack the Top 20 Countdown of things that are terribly wrong with this movie.

Things like a slew of not-so-subtle sexual innuendo that ought to give the elementary school kids the studio is targeting plenty to talk about at recess. Or the rave scene featuring a cameo by floozy du jour Paris Hilton — “yes, kids, she’s the one from those sex videos everyone’s all hot and bothered about … want some more Gummy Bears?” Then there’s Alec Baldwin in a what’s-left-of-his-career-killing turn as a negative one-dimensional bad guy, and the Things — the Cat’s nightmare-inducing sidekicks who look like a pair of aged, half-pint Beverly Hills housewives injected with lethal doses of Botox.

Blithely unaware or callously unconcerned that his film disembowels the beloved source material in full view of Seuss fans of all ages, Meyers winks at the camera as he shamelessly shills for Universal. The hard-sell includes plugs for both the studio’s theme park (he actually holds up a brochure) and the film’s soundtrack, which contains a repugnant Smashmouth cover of the Beatles’ “It’s Getting Better” that would surely kill John Lennon if he wasn’t already dead. If there’s any justice in the world, “The Cat In The Hat” will be shot down, too … at the box office. (Rated PG for mild crude humor and some double entendres. Running time: 81 minutes)

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/55/9f/559f9abc-8372-4a2e-8c2d-27386da4e363/content/images/2026/10/112103-13_01.jpg)

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 21, 2003.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/112103.pdf?ref=smdp.com)