> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# Review ‘World’ beaters are just beat
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/review-world-beaters-are-just-beat/
- Published: 2004-06-18T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-23T04:33:18.000Z
- Author: Dan Dunn
- Tags: Entertainment, Santa Monica, #archive-import

One thing’s for sure, you could spend 80 days trekking the globe and you’d be seriously hard-pressed to unearth anything more odious than this high-priced turd of a remake. Disney’s “Around the World in 80 Days” is shamefully violent (it is, after all, supposed to be a family film) and contains enough offensive racial stereotypes to make even the crassest Howard Stern fan cringe. The gags are awful, performances sub-par and the obligatory fight scenes serve only to remind that star Jackie Chan is really getting old. And he’s not aging gracefully either. Once considered a singular talent who combined the martial arts expertise of Bruce Lee with the comedic prowess of Buster Keaton in making some of the best Chinese movies ever, Chan has sold-out for Hollywood greenbacks and, in the process, devolved into a pathetic Asian caricature. Here, he voluntarily subjugates himself to be the white man’s valet, Passepartout, who can sing, knows karate and is careful to offer “a thousand pardons” whenever he’s reproached by his master.

Based on the novel by Jules Verne, “Around the World” chronicles the adventures of 19th Century persnickety British inventor Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan), who — on a bet with England’s crooked Minister of Science (Jim Broadbent) — attempts to circle the planet in just 80 days. It’s a Victorian-era “The Amazing Race” rife with possibility, but it stumbles right out of the gate and never recovers.

Coogan, who was fantastic in “24 Hour Party People” is surely going to regret this choice, and Broadbent — a recent Academy Award-winner for his supporting role in “Iris” — needs not only fire his agent, he must remove him from his Christmas card list as well. Chan, with a string of recent missteps that includes “The Medallion,” “The Tuxedo” and a gig judging the Miss World Pageant, appears to be a lost cause. Next up for him is “Rush Hour 3.” Ooh, can’t wait!

One bright spot here is French actress Cecile de France, who wows in her English language debut as Fogg’s love interest. In a nod to its cameo-laden predecessor, “Around the World” trots out John Cleese, Kathy Bates and the governor of California. As you’ve no doubt gathered, they don’t much help matters. (Rated PG for action violence, some crude humor and mild language. Running time: 93 minutes)

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on June 18, 2004.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/061804.pdf?ref=smdp.com)