> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# Rich anger wins again
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/rich-anger-wins-again/
- Published: 2006-04-01T16:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-23T17:26:48.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: local, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*Pacifists get pummeled on courts*

*By SACK JA MAMMA AND MONEY SURF Daily Mess Makers*

UPTOWN — It was pretty apparent the Angry Rich were angrier than ever.

They clearly kicked some serious liberal ass during the fourth annual Class Bash on Friday, holding down the lefties once again at the tennis courts along Oppressor Park.

The traditional “West Side Story” style street brawl became a tradition four years ago as a way to continue the deepening divide of Santa Monica’s already-entrenched classes.

In years’ past, both sides have chosen their weapons of choice, which have ranged from German luxury cars for the rich to logic and reasoning from Santa Monicans Everywhere Are Always Right (SMEAR), the city’s most notorious ruling party who know all.

This year, the two sides agreed to go back to basics. They went for an old school, bareknuckle brawl in the park, a setting of Shakespearean relevance.

“There was no question that we would win,” said millionaire Hugh Bitter, who has been pissed off since he made his fortune. “There was no way they could match us. Just from our sheer rage alone, we knew we had them.”

Because the event has grown so large over the years, officials in all of their wisdom decided that the fight had to be moved to a more appropriate venue.

Of course, this would never happen north of Montana.

“The tennis courts are a far more reasonable place than the treacherous curves of Adelaide Drive or the labor union headquarters,” said City Hall spokeswoman Foodie Fanz. “Plus, the residents near Oppressor Park are used to fights.”

Leaders of the SMEAR campaign took advantage of the bareknuckle rules this year, attempting a peaceful resistance attack, whereby the non-combatants sat in silence in the middle of the battleground.

The approach was not successful. The Angry Rich squad, comprised mostly of bitter millionaires who’ve since retired to vegetate, took it out on the SMEAR side, pummeling them over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

In an ironic sidenote, some Angry Rich people waiting to get in a game of tennis before the afternoon chill moved in, became irate at having to wait to use the tennis courts. The fight dissipated soon after the angry players chased away their fellow Angry Rich with the use of their racquets. City park rangers assisted with the removal of the SMEAR team members, who really never knew what hit them.

“Do I feel bad about it? No, not really,” admitted Buckminster Fullofself. “I mean, we came here to fight, and fight we did.

“They think they know everything, but I’m not sure they knew how their bloody tongues tasted. Now they do.”

In attempts to regroup, the SMEAR squad got together at their favorite watering hole to drink water and talk about their performance out there, as well as their feelings. The setback represented the second year in a row that the SMEAR team were felled by those Angry Rich types.

The pacifist approach was a throwback to years past, when the team deployed logic and reason to get all medieval on their asses. The idea of placing soy bean traps was ditched shortly before this year’s tussle, but some acknowledged it may have came in hand on the tennis courts.

The ugly beating is already being re-dubbed as “No Love Lost while Courting Disaster along the Nets of Deceit While Reading Between the Lines,” since shortened to NLLWCDATNODWRBTL for ease of use.

“The bloody pulp of what was remaining on the tennis courts really put the bash back into ‘Class Bash,’” said Gage Chlumsky of the pissed-off Angry Rich squad. “It just feels good to come out on a beautiful Southern California day and take it out on those granola munchers.

“We’ll be back next year, believe you me, and we’ll have plenty more to be angry about.”

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/55/9f/559f9abc-8372-4a2e-8c2d-27386da4e363/content/images/2026/10/040106-13_01.jpg)

from the Angry Rich pummel their liberal enemies at the fourth annual ‘Class Bash’ at a local park. (Photo: Photo Courtesy Combantants)

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2006.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/040106.pdf?ref=smdp.com)