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# Santa Monica City Council tries bold new experiment
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/santa-monica-city-council-tries-bold-new-experiment/
- Published: 2004-04-01T16:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-23T04:06:50.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Government & Politics, Santa Monica, #archive-import, Homeless, Homelessness

*By Ed Silverstein, Steven Glass & Jayson Blair*

In a move being closely watched by San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York and other major cities, members of the Santa Monica City Council turned over their jobs to a group of homeless people for a period of 24 hours.

Candidates for the provisional council were selected to represent a cross section of the homeless population. Chosen were three substance abusers and three individuals with severe mental problems (who weren’t existing council members), however attempts to find a person who is homeless due to the lack of a living wage or being forced from their home by an unethical landlord failed.

Ultimately Charles Springer, a columnist who writes for the Santa Monica Daily Press and has no evident reason for living on the streets, was chosen. Gray Davis was briefly considered, but was dismissed when it was learned that former Governor does, in fact, have a home, just no longer in Sacramento or in politics.

In its first order of business, the Homeless Council slashed social services funding by 40 percent. The Council said this action was justified and necessary because many of the services were ineffective, poorly run, had no system of accountability, thus promoting rather than curing homelessness.

The city legislators declared that the savings from social service programs would be redirected into education budgets recently slashed by the “Education Governor,” Arnold Schwarzenegger. It is the council’s belief that an improved education system is a far more effective method for keeping people off the streets, than current programs that turn the streets into a Tijuana bed and breakfast.

Santa Monicans Everywhere Are Always Right (SMEAR’D), the ruling party of Santa Monica, blasted the decision. A spokesperson for the group railed against the provisional council for being insensitive to the needs of the homeless population and declared that SMEARED will no longer give any of the new council members loose change to buy drugs or booze.

Meanwhile, shots rang out in the Pico neighborhood.

In other business, the homeless council, after consulting a report written by a Franklyn Elementary school fourth grader, ordered all traffic calming measures dismantled. The report had concluded that, as any 10-year old can plainly see, the measures had done little more than increase traffic, pollution and driver stress.

In a related decision, the council ordered pedestrian safety islands removed on Wilshire Boulevard and all other Santa Monica thoroughfares. According to Councilwoman Mary Nolastname, “These islands are stupid and a waste of money. Pedestrians, especially around sunset, blend into the palm trees making it hard for drivers to see them. And the tire impacts that blacken every single island is a clear warning that these are a bunch of accidents waiting to happen.”

The council also addressed the mounting budget crisis. The grossly over-priced $70 million new main library was put on indefinite hold as were all projects with price tags of over $1 million that benefited less than.0001 percent of Santa Monica residents. Among the revenue producing measures passed was the garbage in, garbage out, proposal reinstating advertising on beach trash receptacles. By the end of the session the homeless council had slashed over $23 million from the budget, added $12 million to education, cut property taxes, improved the business climate and ended up with a $5 million rainy day fund with absolutely no discernible loss of services.

In a last minute flurry of activity, the council passed several new ordinances. Smoking will now be banned everywhere in Santa Monica except the high school boy’s bathrooms. Citing the failed lawsuit to force banks to lower ATM fees that cost the city $1 million, the new council elected to spend $100 per month placing advertisements in Santa Monica papers listing ATM rates of all local banks. These ads will allow customers to choose banks with lowest fees, benefit local businesses and save the city $998,800 per year in legal fees. And in a final unanimous vote, the council enacted a new ordinance banning locking devices on the wheels of shopping carts.

Public comment was not permitted and the meeting, which began at 7:05 p.m. was adjourned at 7:27 p.m., having covered all items of the provisional council’s ambitious agenda.

LATE BREAKING NEWS: In a last minute emergency session, the homeless council, citing poor writing, inane subject matter and boring content, passed a law banning Incites, a weekly column by Ed Silverstein. Slackafryingpan, editor of the Santa Monica Daily Press, wrote an editorial supporting the decision and declared that she’d use the savings to buy a new toothbrush. Calls to the author were unreturned.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2004.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/040104.pdf?ref=smdp.com)