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# Santa Monica Seeking assistance
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/santa-monica-seeking-assistance-editor/
- Published: 2008-04-01T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-24T19:06:58.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*By Bettie Haldon Somewhere over the rainbow*

I don’t normally do this, but I am seeking the help of the Daily Planet in my battle with the CIA and Robert Redford (you know, he played a CIA agent once, so there’s a connection). I would come into the office and explain, but my cats will not let me leave and there are LAPD helicopters flying above my home right now, just waiting for me to step outside so they can shoot me down, and my controlling cats, who need to be fed every three hours or they go into a fit and start hacking up furballs all around the house, and believe me, you do not want to step in that. Where was I? Oh, my case with Robert Redford and the CIA. When I was 21 years old, quite a long time ago, I ran into the red-headed stud at a cocktail party at my cousin Beatrice’s house. It was a wonderful party, with many celebrities and great booze. They even had those little fried cheese balls and buttermilk sauce. So tasty. Anyway, I was at the party when Rob, that’s what we call him, walked over to me and groped me. I wasn’t startled at first, given his strong, sculpted arms and his charming features. But then I got to thinking about what he had just done and I became upset. I called the police and had him arrested. Well, that was a bad idea. He has since joined with the CIA to blackball me from Hollywood. Every script I have turned in has been rejected, even one which I wrote for Robert. I must say there is a grand conspiracy to get me to keep quiet, but it won’t work. Just as soon as these helicopters leave, I’ll be back on the street ready to fight. I just need your help.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2008.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/040108.pdf?ref=smdp.com)