> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.smdp.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Swiss miss runs toward her dreams - URL: https://www.smdp.com/swiss-miss-runs-toward-her-dreams/ - Published: 2007-05-11T15:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-24T00:44:19.000Z - Author: Kevin Herrera - Tags: local, Santa Monica, #archive-import *FROM MOTHERS PAGE 3 Moms get breath of fresh air* HARVARD STREET If you’ve tried meditating before, then you already know that getting your mind to be as still as your body for 20 minutes is the most difficult part of the process, especially when you’re a mom. Not only do you have to contend with the sound of trash trucks rumbling outside the window or the millions of thoughts running through your stressed-out brain, but there’s also the demands of a toddler or a teen, or both, whining in your ear. With all that’s going on in the life of a modern mother, it’s no wonder that many feel as if they have no life of their own, planning to spend Mother’s Day alone, relaxing in silence. “A massage, too, would be nice,” said Sandy Mar, the mother of a 7-week-old and a 3-year-old. “Don’t get me wrong, being a mother is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done and I have no regrets. There’s nothing like it in the world, but sometimes you just want to be able to go to the bathroom by yourself and not have the kids hanging on you.” Looking to better manage her stress and be a more attentive mother and wife, Mar earlier this week joined roughly 35 other moms for a seminar on mindful mothering at the Early Childhood Parenting Center, a non-profit project of Community Partners that helps parents address issues like child attachment and discipline. While for some mothers the concept of “peace of mind” seems ridiculous in a day and age when many work full-time and are still expected to run the fort and be an attentive wife, those at the center believe it is attainable, but one has to be willing to commit to themselves. to be calmer and more present in the moment,” said Caron Post, Ph.D., a volunteer with the center and a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Venice. “So much now we are either living in the past or planning for the future, ruminating, regret-ting … Instead of human beings, we have become humans doing.” By being constantly consumed by stress and an overwhelming feeling of guilt and anger, parents let their frustrations boil over and then take them out on their family. “Kids can be ogres,” Post said, “but we can be witches.” To avoid having to buy a broom, the flies and a black cauldron, Dr. Fran Walfish, chairperson of the center, said mothers and fathers should follow six tips that will help them be mindful. The first is balance love and limits. Be equally comfortable with loving/nurturing and setting boundaries/limits with your child. Sometimes that can be the most difficult aspect of being a parent, said Barbara Trikonis, the mother of a 25-year-old son and a volunteer at the center. “You want to be loving and really nurture your kids, but you also have to set limits and discipline them when they do wrong,” Trikonis said. “That’s where some parents have trouble. They can’t stand to see their children unhappy, but sometimes that’s part of it. After all, it is a job and it doesn’t stop at 5 (p.m.) It’s 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. You never stop being a parent.” Tip number two reminds parents to give lots of undivided listening attention to children and to follow their child’s lead, versus directing a child. Another important tip is to get on the same page as your spouse. Kids learn at an early age to play one parent against the other and you do not want a divided front. Also, examine your own behavior as closely and honestly as you do your child’s, and, probably the most important part, nurture yourself, so that you’re fortified to give to your child. Exercising is a good way to manage stress, as is reading a good book or meeting up with friends for a few laughs, which will boost one’s mood and take the pressure of being a mom off their shoulders for a few hours. “Mindful mother is a unique way … to show moms how they can survive and thrive during times of chaos and tantrums,” said Walfish. “Our hope is the seminar will give all parents a new way to discover how to become less reactive when their buttons are pushed and learn how to manage the everyday stresses of motherhood.” During the seminar, Post had mothers practice breathing techniques and had them carefully examine a raisin and then eat, savoring the flavor, the aroma and the texture. The exercise was intended to help parents practice living in the moment, enjoying every sight and sound. If one is too concerned about the bills or a meeting at work, they can totally miss the beauties of parenthood. New mother Marina Nieto-Ritger, a television executive, had a similar experience recently. She was laying on her bed with her baby and found herself unable to reach the television remote, her Blackberry or the telephone. She was completely immobile and, for a career woman, that was a strange sensation. “I was frustrated, definitely, because before I could be doing three or four things at the same time,” Nieto-Ritger said. “Now, my life is completely different and I have to learn to change my mindset. I realized at that moment how precious this time is and that once its gone, you can never get it back so you should cherish it. It’s hard to keep that in your head all the time, especially when you have so much going on.” Since having her child, Nieto-Ritger said she has found a new level of respect for her grandmother, who raised five children without modern conveniences like a washing machine or a car. “It’s really about endurance,” she said. “This is your life. You can’t take a coffee break or go out for a cigarette.” But you should take five when possible, Post said. “I know it’s hard to find that balance, but it is necessary and will help you to be more tolerant and more giving to you children,” she said. In the end, the important lesson may be that on Mother’s Day, it may be best if the kids disappeared for a few hours, only to return to a mother that is more relaxed, refreshed and able to make all the problems in the world fade away. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/55/9f/559f9abc-8372-4a2e-8c2d-27386da4e363/content/images/2026/10/051107-04_01.jpg) ON TRACK: SMC sophomore Vanessa Sautebin is turning heads with her athletic prowess. (Photo: Photo courtesy) *Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on May 11, 2007.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/051107.pdf?ref=smdp.com)