“I just got served with a restraining order. I can’t go to my house, see my kids, or get my clothes. What do I do?” ‘Tis the season for family fights, lovers’ quarrels and the annual issuance of Domestic Violence Protective Act — Temporary Restraining Orders.
The mighty oak is truly a remarkable tree. Oaks have sustained humans for more than 6,000 years. Oaks have often been referred to as generous, hospitable, scholarly, surveyors and long-lived.
Editor’s Note: The Quackers are three awesome ducks — Rusty, Richard and Sydney — from the canals of Venice who are on a mission to educate the community about the dangers of global warming and the importance of practicing sustainability, all while surfing the most gnarly waves possible.
The Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District’s Equity Fund is the latest flap to hit our schools. The scheme was drafted by former Superintendent John Deasy to help close the achievement gap between rich and poorer schools and to equalize the academic playing field for all.
Imagine a world exempt from parking tickets, where gym membership is free and health care is second-to-none. In order to receive these benefits, you also only have to work two, maybe three days a week — a time period during which you will be shuttled around in a nice car.
When I first heard about those two pilots who recently overshot the Minneapolis airport by over 100 miles, I was stunned. However, when they said the reason they weren’t paying attention to flying was because they were looking at one of their personal laptops, I just nodded my head, knowingly.
Q. Dear Rachel, I never thought I’d be in a long-distance relationship, but here I am. I’m stuck in L.A., finishing my senior year of college, while my boyfriend’s in New York City, starting a new job.
Dear New Shrink, I am very distraught. After 12 years of what I thought was a good marriage, I have discovered that my husband is having an affair. He blames it on me, but up until the time our child was born, we had a great sex life, were best friends and he never complained.
Most bald people probably fantasize that having the ability to get a haircut would change how the world sees them and they see it. That’s why I’m probably the kind of hair-ed person they curse the most.
“The Daily Show” used to do a segment called “Great Moments In Punditry” in which talk show transcripts were re-read by actors. It was funny because the actual arguments were too childish to take seriously — and because the actors reading the lines were children.
“Go play!” mom would insist as the screen door hit our backsides. She shoved us out the door and expected us to entertain ourselves until dusk while she caught up on (what we now unfortunately know) a ton of cleaning.
