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# The summer months of our discontent
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/the-summer-months-of-our-discontent/
- Published: 2006-09-01T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-25T00:50:15.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*By MATTERS BY JACK NEWORTH*

Summer is not my favorite season. Tourists flock here, it’s crowded and hot. And yet, as soon as summer’s gone, I miss it. The beach, the warm nights, the sunsets. Go figure. For me this summer was particularly rough and it wasn’t much better for Mel Gibson either.

The three straight weeks of a heatwave broke a 57-year record and threatened to break my will to live. One day, I was dripping in perspiration from making the bed. Tying my shoes became a daunting task. If this was a preview to global warming, I just hope they have rent control in Greenland.

To escape the heat, I placed my beach chair not near the water but in it. This despite the Heal the Bay report card and a five-part LA Times series, “Altered Oceans,” both of which say the ocean is polluted plus. My choice was polluted or passed out. I was slightly comforted by Heal the Bay Director Mark Gold’s claim that he goes to the beach at lifeguard station No. 26, which is where I go.

This summer the entire world is either burning, being bombed, or about to be bombed. And is it me, or do the “rapture right” folks seem to smile as they predict the end of the world? That’s annoying. Call me wacky, but I’ve gotten kind of used to it here. So I stopped watching the news. Besides it was so hot it took too much energy to use the remote.

The war in Iraq drags on. I thought the troops were coming home this summer? President Bush, aka “the decider” says only “when the job is done.” I’m not entirely sure the “decider” knows what the job is, but it’s a catchy phrase. Another catchy phrase is “catastrophic mistake.”

We’ve been fighting in Iraq longer than all of WWII. Meanwhile Osama “wanted dead or alive” Bin Laden puts out more videos than a rapper. It’s three years since Bush’s “Mission accomplished,” and a year since Cheney’s,“The insurgency is in the last throes.” I suppose it depends on what your definition of “throes” is.

It’s the one-year anniversary of Katrina during which New Orleans was under water while Bush was playing air guitar and eating some of John McCain’s birthday cake. Levee experts say it would take $30 billion to make New Orleans safe from future flooding, or about the cost of being in Iraq for a month. For a laugh, or a cry, watch the video of Bush’s teleconference call where FEMA chief Mike Brown warns of the imminent disaster. Bush’s attention deficit reminded me of myself when a woman I’m dating describes her shopping trip. I’ve got a novel idea. Next time we elect a president let’s try an adult.

Another story of the summer, John Mark Karr, the self-confessed killer of Jon Benet Ramsey, probably never even met her. His arrest took the carnage in Lebanon off the front pages and provided huge ratings, which I’m sure made Geraldo happy. But of course, nothing is going to match the golden days of O.J. Karr managed to escape a Thai jail, and scored a first class flight home, complete with jumbo prawns and champagne. Even if he doesn’t get prison time they say he will be carefully watched. I’m suggesting six ankle bracelets... for each ankle.

But hands down, Mel stole the summer — if for no other reason than it proves a half billion dollars doesn’t necessarily buy you peace of mind. Maybe it takes an entire billion. That’s about what somebody could charge for the video of Mel’s jailhouse tirade. In 1988 when he made “Tequila Sunrise”Mel had an apartment in my building and I met him a few times. He was exceedingly charming, but of course I wasn’t arresting him for a DUI.

Gibson’s outburst at least wasn’t stereotypic. Doctors, lawyers, even heads of studios, but calling a sheriff a Jew? What are the odds? The sheriff’s last name was Mee, so I thought he was Asian. But Mel spread the hate around. A female officer in booking, apparently black and busty, came under Gibson’s verbal fire, “What are you looking at, sugar-x%\*#?!” Guys, don’t try that one at home.

If you ask me, Mel got off easy. Three years probation and a $1,300 fine? I say 10 points from his next movie, gross points. With his legal problems behind him, Mel has reached out to the Jewish community asking how he can show his contrition. Rob Reiner suggests he should admit the anti-semitism in his past movies. I suggest Mel ought to get circumcised. If he did that, then this summer would truly be unforgettable. (Jack Neworth is a freelance writer, who, when not poking fun at movie stars and presidents,)

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on September 1, 2006.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/090106.pdf?ref=smdp.com)