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# Time to count the animals two-by-two
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/time-to-count-the-animals-two-by-two/
- Published: 2007-01-05T16:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-24T22:57:53.000Z
- Author: Guest Author
- Tags: Entertainment, Santa Monica, #archive-import

*By LAUGHING MATTERS BY JACK NEWORTH*

FOR FANS OF THE ENVIRONMENT, there’s good news and there’s bad news.

The good news: Ed Begley Jr., who’s greener than Kermit, has an upcoming reality TV show. The trailer looks very funny and the show should spread the environmental message. The bad news: Due to global warming, a giant ice shelf snapped free from an island south of the North Pole. It was packed with ice more than 3,000 years old. (And I thought the peas in my freezer were ancient.) Everywhere, there’s more bad eco news (Unless you’re in Arizona longing for an ocean view). An island in the South Pacific recently vanished due to rising water. But President Bush, our feckless leader — er, fearless leader — still maintains that global warming is just a theory. (Like gravity is just a theory?) Bush’s Interior Department had to put polar bears on the threatened species list, citing thin ice! Folks, the sky may not be falling, but the water is rising. Anyone with ark-building skills or proficiency at counting animals two-by-two, get ready.

For the past six years, instead of concern about the environment, it’s been about tax cuts for the wealthy. (Bush’s “leave no billionaire behind.”) Since fossil fuels contribute to environmental woes, let’s go back to 1973, the first oil embargo. Gas rose to a whopping 53 cents per gallon. (Ah, but for the good ol’ days.) Nixon took a break from covering up a burglary and signed the Emergency Petroleum Act authorizing gas rationing. Henry Kissinger took a break from bombing Cambodia and unveiled “Project Independence” to make us energy independent. That plan probably went the way of the Nixon-Kissinger secret plan to end the Vietnam war. That only took six years more and 30,000 American lives, but who’s counting?

Jimmy Carter tried to end our dependence on foreign oil, but he was ridiculed. Conservation was bad for business, the oil business. Reagan, who considered ketchup a vegetable, considered the environment in dandy shape. For the hole in the ozone, his Secretary of the Interior suggested we all just wear hats. And soon SUVs were the craze, as in “crazy.” Following 9/11, who can forget seeing them driving around sporting American flags?

Could we have prevented the current environmental crisis? In 1961, J.F.K. predicted that by the end of the decade, we’d have a man on the moon. The Russians were sending monkeys into space and we couldn’t get a chimp on a blimp. But ultimately, we made it. So in all these years could we have found clean burning, alternate energy sources? One word: duh.

Twenty years ago, I tried to bring recycling to my 532-unit apartment complex. But first, I had to convince the city and the landlord. The city was easier. Our landlord mocked the idea until I suggested there might be substantial savings in trash pickups. Money talks. It took a year, but finally recycling was coming to The Shores. Unfortunately, the head of recycling (name withheld) mismeasured the underground garage, so when the trucks came out, they couldn’t get in. I was the butt of that joke for the next six months, until different trucks were located. I’m proud to say that was 6,000 of recycling ago.

“Living with Ed” stars Rachelle Carson, who puts up with (barely) her eco-obsessed husband, the Emmy-nominated actor Ed Begley Jr. The result is a hilarious Home and Gardens (HGTV) docu-soap set in the couple’s solar-powered, two-bedroom Hollywood home. The six-episode series premieres Sunday at 10 p.m. In the show’s trailer, Ed has his exercycle hooked to a battery. He explains it only took 15 minutes of hard pedaling to produce enough energy to make toast. Rachelle is further exasperated when Ed boasts that it makes the toast taste better.

Watching Ed pedal, I thought about my building’s gym, where there are five cardio machines. Imagine all the potential toast! So I called Douglas-Emmett (DECO), which has a reputation for being environmentally evolved. It’s a longshot, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed (which explains the typos).

If this column has any value (other than to line a bird cage), it would be to encourage you to help the environment. For us to do otherwise would be a shameful legacy for future generations. The baby boomers would be remembered for irreparably harming the eco system for love of money, cars and air conditioning. I don’t want to be part of that. I’m with Ed. I’d rather pedal for my toast.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on January 5, 2007.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/010507.pdf?ref=smdp.com)