Editor:
“Trump blames the ‘radical left’ for Charlie Kirk’s Killing” – NBC News 9/10/25
The Tacomas and Rams, festooned in the Stars and Stipes, some banners flown in blackface and upside down, flanked by squadrons of noisy muscle cars and schools of biker gangs, rallied in tribute to Charlie Kirk from their social-posted origin at Pepperdine’s Waves of Flags and north on PCH here in Malibu. Then POTUS vowed to target “left wing organizations” in retaliation for his assassination. Such Chaos ! In the name of our collective horror at disorder, here are my Top 5 Malibu Left Wing Organizations the MAGA faithful can next target in Malibu to advance POTUS’ MPC (Maximum Performative Cruelty) agenda:
AVIATOR NATION – While A/N’s popular Composer’s Breakfast has proven a fertile hub for iconic, working and emerging music and film industry players, the former picture postcard Malibu Inn also hosts an Open Mic Night that soils the tow-headed, Kodachrome-smeared innocence of Gidget’s Beach by programming so-called “comics” who play BLUE as in potty mouth, BLUE as in Blathering Lunatic Unhinged Elites. Suggested MAGA action: buy out the house, open a tab and make your voice, herd !
MALIBU LABOR EXCHANGE – (in your best Stephen-Miller-jacked-up on Fox voice) “This hotbed of illegal immigrant trafficking, a long-festering pustule under the skin of a half-assed sanctuary city, is a greased pole, an easy slide into Malibu’s overheated and might I add Federally Funded rebuild economy! Its physical location, a decaying trailer that would make Jim Rockford wince, is perched on cinder blocks, a stick in the eye to what used to be a great “Hangin’ Judge” (cc: Robert Downey, Jr. !) Merrick and his very unfairly shuttered courthouse!” Today KBUU, a local pirate radio station run by a communist, reported the racket wants to put down roots, like a foundation and plumbing. Suggested MAGA action: for maximum impact, wait “two weeks” until it gets dark early, then ignite torches and fireworks in your demonstration around the trailer as visual “exclamation points” for LA TV news, which comes on the air at 4pm (consider exclusive tip to KTLA after what parent company Nexstar did to Kimmel !)
CAFÉ DE LA PLAGE – We all know about the Lunatic Left’s obsession with French Culture, French Cuisine and the French Communism comes from their shared fixation on gender fluidity. Macron’s own wife we learned recently hides a whole baguette under that Chanel suit, and no one there seems to care ! Here in Malibu the overtly Woke, LGBTQ – friendly Café de la Plage on Point Dume crosses the line with their $25 Vegan Ice Cream. Suggested MAGA action: rally your motorbikes and stage a stinky “rolling thunder” Ice Cream Social in the common area of Point Dume Village featuring only tubs of Thrifty Vanilla that you feed each other with your hand and foment an ANIMAL HOUSE style “Food Fight!”
OUR LADY OF MALIBU – If you’ve ever tuned in to CNN anticipating coverage of a planned State Execution of a Convicted Criminal only for the program to be postponed then hijacked by a lunatic left wing governor or judge, chances are Malibu cinema icon Martin Sheen has colluded with a Nun at OLM and booked a satellite press tour to gum up the works (this schtick has served him well since returning from the set of APOCALYPSE NOW a broken man, per son Charlie in his new Netflix doc). Suggested MAGA action: get the elder Sheen excommunicated! Tell all your Group Chats to pitch in and Amazon all extant VHS copies of THE BELIEVERS (Orion, 1987) to The Vatican.
THE HANNAH MONTANA HOUSE – Adjacent to Malibu West Swim Club and the first property on the Architectural Charm Bracelet known as Broad Beach, this all-white, 2 story behemoth served as the exterior of the beachfront home of Hannah Montana, a fictional Daughter of the Heartland created by Miley Cyrus on the Disney Channel before she, and it, went Woke. Suggested MAGA action: invite all your friends to park conveniently at the northernmost end of the Zuma lot and make Broad Beach “your own” with LED strobes, red, white and blue smoke and a crowd-sourced musical tribute to Charlie. Camp out overnight on the dunes and lawns of neighboring mansions, it’s ok they are usually empty this time of year.
Inviting the MAGA faithful to camp out here in Malibu reminds me that, before it became an incorporated city, Martin Sheen declared himself Mayor and suggested all the crazy people then-governor Ronald Reagan had loosed on the streets by shutting down California’s mental hospitals should make their way here and sleep on our beaches. Tit for tat, dude!
Jeremy Walker
Malibu