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# We don’t honor the fallen as we should
- URL: https://www.smdp.com/we-dont-honor-the-fallen-as-we-should/
- Published: 2007-05-22T15:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-25T00:04:40.000Z
- Author: David Pisarra
- Tags: Opinion, Santa Monica, #archive-import

THE FLAGS WILL FLAP IN THE BREEZE. A small group of musicians will play taps. Flowers will be laid. Politicians will blather about patriotism and, depending on their affiliation, will either invoke passionate language in an attempt to wake us from our slumber of apathy, or they will assume a somber air to remind us of how seriously they take the commitment of others to protect our country.

Yes, Memorial Day is here, and with it, the advertisements pushing this year’s latest must-have barbecue, the perfect umbrella and a host of pool toys to distract us from the fact that some people once died in wars that are long forgotten.

This year, the merchandising is heavy. The adverts are thicker, the discounts deep-er and the models sexier. As the economy plugs along, there are slight warning signs on the horizon of a downturn — an increased foreclosure rate on homes that people purchased way beyond their means, along with an increase in the number of the unemployed. A cool economy means that retailers have to work harder to get our money.

But shopping and barbecuing are not what Memorial Day is all about. This coming weekend is a time to actually put into action the platitudes and bumper sticker patriotism that is so easily espoused as we fill our gas tanks and buy our plastic pool toys. Yellow ribbons of “Support Our Troops” are great PR, and made someone a princely sum of money, but the troops are the ones who are paying the price for it.

The families of the men and women who are still in the field feel the loss especially hard on this bittersweet weekend. For them, it is a time of paying homage to the fallen and praying fervently that their soldier avoids becoming one of the fallen.

Memorial Day is a time that illustrates the difference between involved and committed. For those of us who have only friends in the services, it is easier to be a supporter, but for those who have family, they are participating. Those who have lost someone will always have a special relationship to the last Monday in May.

Memorial Day is dedicated to the fallen. We dedicated this day to the soldiers who have made the ‘greatest sacrifice’ possible. Remembering is more appropriate to me than honoring them. We can’t give honor to those who have fallen while we continue to wage war.

If we wanted to honor the dead we would work for peace. We would do more than put flags on grave markers and hold parades listening to hot-air politicians espouse Wal- Mart patriotism.

To honor the dead, we would send people on peace missions that will increase cross-cultural awareness. We would not look back at the summer of love with wistful eyes, but we would do all that we could to re-create it. We would look to our youth and say, “You there, the one with the long hair and no job. Put on some flower paint and go hold a sit-in somewhere.” We would not create a youth that is more concerned with when the next hot video game is coming out than the fact that they are inheriting a world that is copying all the mistakes of the past.

We would say to our children, “Get up and change something. Go! Be different, be creative, be open to loving others who are different from you. Go explore the world and break down the walls that the politicians not only build, but live by. Whether those walls are real, like along our southern border, or in the Middle East, break them down.”

We should teach our children how to open a mind, not close a casket. If we could unfold the layers of bigotry, perhaps we could stop teaching Marines how to fold the flags that cover caskets.

To honor the fallen, we would have our children be carriers of light, not light arms. We would sacrifice their youth to the joy of exploration and gregarious social events, not the gaping maw of paranoia and fear of the world’s population.

I am appalled at the loss of children’s youth and vigor to the same old foes: Paranoia, ignorance, religious battles over whose god is better, and the fight for security which makes the world insecure.

No, on the last Monday in May we will not honor the dead, the best we can do is to remember them, and pray that someday their numbers will stop increasing.

DAVID PISARRA is a business development lawyer in the Santa Monica firm of Pisarra & Grist. He or (310) 664-9969.

*Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on May 22, 2007.* [Read the original PDF.](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/smdp%5Fbackissues/052207.pdf?ref=smdp.com)