By Mess Makers
NORTH OF MONTANA — City Councilman Rob Coniver last night announced his candidacy for governor, staging a political war within America’s royal family as he seeks to unseat his brother-in-law.
Coniver believes he can beat his sister Maria’s husband, Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenflogger, by following the same strategy he used to win a seat on the City Council — coffee.
“If I can just get in front of these people, maybe buy them a latte, I can do my thing and charm them into voting for me,” Coniver said as he ran his fingers through his rich, silver mane. “Arnold was never very much of a charmer. Whenever he came to the family compound he was always making off-color remarks, as if he was on a movie set. I’ll zero in on his weakness and strike. It’s not personal, it’s political and my relatives know the difference.”
The announcement was made during an intimate party in the canyon, where many low-profile high profile people were present, including Utoo’s BaBono, who Coniver is working with to end hunger in Santa Barbara.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2006. Read the original PDF.