THE LAST SAMURAI An entertaining film, but highly derivative of superior antecedents such as “Dances With Wolves” and “Unforgiven.”
HONEY With Jessica Alba leading the way, it’s only a matter of time before the Crips and the Bloods trade in their colors and guns for tap shoes and ballet slippers.
THE CAT IN THE HAT The cinematic equivalent of a massive flea infestation. For the crime they committed against Seuss’ compact classic, everyone associated with this film should be neutered without anesthesia.
THE HAUNTED MANSION Even the best CGI wizardry cannot compensate for shoddy storytelling, which is precisely what haunts “The Haunted Mansion.”
THE MISSING Ron Howard had the key elements of an extraordinary film at his disposal — great premise, cast — yet, frustratingly, it never quite realizes its potential.
BAD SANTA If you’re game for a little R-rated Christmas fun, this is a great holiday gift, all wrapped up in F-bombs and slaughtered sacred cows.
TIMELINE Quite possibly the most unintentionally funny film of the year.
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD Russell Crowe makes a strong case for a fourth consecutive Oscar nomination in a thinking person’s action-adventure movie.
SHATTERED GLASS Strong film that meticulously connects the dots of the real events surrounding New Republic writer Stephen Glass’ incredible fall from grace.
ELF A fantastic early Christmas present for moviegoers of all ages. Will Ferrell is one of the very best comedic actors working today.
THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS You’ll stagger out of the theater feeling as though you just failed a calculus exam.
LOVE ACTUALLY Ten different storylines running concurrently is too hard to follow, especially when only half of them are all that interesting.
THE HUMAN STAIN Everyone in the film is dreadfully miscast, and the film fails to live up to anything but the most modest expectations.
IN THE CUT Fuzzy as the visuals and performances are, one thing is crystal clear: This crime thriller fails, at every shadowy turn, to thrill.
SYLVIA Surely the tragic love affair upon which the film is based was a lot more complex (and interesting) than the one the makers of this plodding biopic conjured up.
SCARY MOVIE 3 Isn’t as funny as the original, but it’s a major step up from the lowly first sequel.
PIECES OF APRIL Inspired performances help make this an engaging dramedy that has a little something for everybody.
RUNAWAY JURY This is, arguably, the best adaptation of a Grisham novel yet. A stellar cast carries the day.
VERONICA GUERIN Joel Shumacher delivers the flesh and bones of Guerin’s noble crusade, but the heart is missing.
KILL BILL What stands out most isn’t what happens in this incomplete film, it’s what doesn’t happen. A subpar outing from a talented filmmaker.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on December 12, 2003. Read the original PDF.