...Buzz apparently created some by mentioning last week the so-called chemtrails that hover over Santa Monica in the form of jet exhaust. Several readers wrote in, pointing Buzz to a haze of conspiracy theories. Perhaps it’s not lithium “they” are spraying upon us but paranoia juice. From a few readers, here are their theories behind those mystery lines in the sky: “Actually Barium and Aluminum mostly, with a few varieties of polymer fibers thrown in for good measure. A perfect subject for a breezy, cheerful editorial, great choice. There is much you could learn about this subject if you are interested. The link below is a good place to start. http://www.carnicom.com/conright.htm.”......And another one with some denial allegations mixed in... “Have you ‘buzzed by’ the NRDC ‘green’ building on Second Street in Santa Monica? I did, on a day that the chemtrails were real heavily in progress overhead. What I wanted to do is present a free copy of AEROSOLCRIMES, a DVD documentary that investigates the chemtrail phenomena, to the person in charge there. I actually pointed out the spraying in progress that could be observed right through the window. She REFUSED to accept the DVD, and referred me to the main office back east, a bureaucracy that summarily dismisses all but the corporate party line. You made silly fun of the chemtrails — are you Generation Y? You might not remember the blue skies and natural clouds that all but disappeared since 1999 when the aerosol spray program began. Below are some important links: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ricksgar-deningtips/message/12353 and http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-
Whatever they’re up to, life appears to be good in this city by the sea, otherwise known as “home of the homeless.” It sure appears to have all of the amenities......Buzz hates to dwell on the negative but believes pointing out bad service is a community service worthy of some space. At a certain crepe place on the Promenade, Buzz couldn’t help but get “creeped” out at the cafe. The waiter just couldn’t get it together to save any of his tips last Wednesday night. Table after table commented on the slow-as-molasses service, with almost a complete unanimous consent from everyone dining al fresco that he would get a dollar so he’d the get the message that he shouldn’t give up his day job. He also pointed out to Buzz immediately after sitting down and ordering a beer that city ordinance prohibits him from just drinking. That was before Buzz even got a menu. Can’t get no buzz on there......The week’s anger-management-gone-bad victim comes from the alley behind the SMDP’s office on the Promenade. Routinely clogged with delivery trucks, garbage haulers, construction workers and illegal parkers, getting into a traffic jam in a block-long alley is just another day at the office for Buzz. But it didn’t sit too well with who we will call “Hey Guy.” Stuck behind a delivery driver, the Beamer owner got out of his dime-a-dozen vehicle to yell at the driver who was stalled behind another delivery driver. “Hey Guy,” dressed in his over-the-top suit threatened to kick delivery driver’s you-know-what if he didn’t move. In very broken English, the driver tried to tell him he can’t go anywhere. That does not please “Hey Guy,” and he somehow coaxed the poor delivery driver out so he “could teach him a lesson.” The driver remained calm and tried to rationalize with “Hey Guy.” “Sir, can’t move sorry. Truck in front. LOOK! Truck in front.” “Hey Guy” wanted action... so he threatened him some more.“Hey Guy” jumps on delivery truck and screams “GET OUT! GET OUT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T MOVE...” Delivery guy finally got fed up, and emerged from the truck with a HUGE SLEDGEHAMMER. “What now! What now! You move now!”“Hey Guy” gets back in his car, tail tucked between his legs. You know the difference between a porcupine and a BMW... the porcupine’s pricks are on the outside.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on August 28, 2006. Read the original PDF.