By — Dorie
Dear Dorie, My 2-year-old wakes up at least three times each night. I feel like a walking zombie. Do you have any suggestions to break the habit? — Sleep Deprived Dear Deprived, Sleep deprivation is one of the tried and true facts of parenting that no one really wants to talk about. While there are techniques out there for letting your little one “cry it out,” I support a more humane approach to helping your loved one learn to sleep through the night. Be warned, there is no easy fix for this. Prepare for the long haul — do the hard work now and within a few years you’ll have a contented, well-slept child. Accept sleep deprivation as part of the parenting formula and pursue other healthy habits to balance it out (eat right, exercise, nap when you can, etc.).
Your toddler’s sleep cycle is interrupted for a variety of reasons: dreams, voiding urine (common) or bowel movement (less common), noise, etc. He wakes up and is seeking reassurance that all is well. If you’re breast-feeding, this is the ultimate comfort and he probably wants to nurse back to sleep. If he’s weaned, he is looking for you to hold and rock him back to sleep. Your goal is to teach him that our world sleeps at night and, with love and affection, get him back to sleep. Try a repetitive phrase, “I’m going to hold you for a little while and then go back to sleep. All the world is asleep right now, the animals are asleep, the birds are asleep, and we’re all going to go back to sleep.” Establish a place (e.g. a rocking chair) and a rhythm to this routine. Every time your toddler wakes, do the same thing and return him to his crib when he’s peaceful. Slowly but surely, he will extend his sleeping hours, and yours. Good luck. (Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program, provided by Saint John’s Health Center in partnership with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Meek answers questions concerning children ages birth to 5 years old. Submit your questions to “Dear Dorie” at, or call (310) 452-6132; fax (310) 452-6392).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on October 11, 2005. Read the original PDF.