Nicole Kidman has emerged in recent years as one of the most talented movie stars of her generation, having sunk her pearly whites into meaty dramatic roles in “The Hours,” (for which she was awarded a Best Actress Oscar) “Moulin Rouge” and “Cold Mountain.” When it comes to comedic chops, however, the Aussie beauty is sorely in need of a set of braces cause she can’t seem to get things straight. On the heels of the criminally unfunny “Stepford Wives” remake, Kidman reportedly landed the role of Samantha in Nora Ephron’s “Bewitched” as she could crinkle her nose, Elizabeth Montgomery-style, like nobody’s business. Those unfortunate enough to see this movie may inadvertently develop a similar skill because, boy, it stinks something awful. Bad enough Hollywood keeps churning out lame-o remakes of démodé TV shows, but when accomplished thesps like Kidman, Will Ferrell and Michael Caine sign on to star in them, it augurs for the end of civilization … or, at least, “Full House: The Movie.” Yikes!
In keeping with the studio zeitgeist, “Bewitched” is a “high concept comedy,” which is becoming synonymous with “confusing and unfunny.” The 1960s series chronicled a witch who married an ordinary guy in the hopes of achieving normalcy, but the film proffers an even more unlikely conceit: The witch, Isabel (Kidman), longs for a simple life devoid of hocus-pocus (in a luxuriant Beverly Hills enclave, no less — a familiar domain of the Ephron oeuvre), but magically winds up being cast as Samantha opposite a narcissistic, washed-up film star (Ferrell) in a 21st century revival of “Bewitched.” So she’s a real witch who’s hot for the actor who plays a guy who falls for the pretend witch she plays on TV, and yes, it is tedious as it sounds. Kidman inexplicably plays Isabel like Jeff Bridges’ bemused alien in “Starman,” and her skin appears to have been digitally airbrushed in post-production, giving it an unnaturally translucent cast that is damned creepy. Oh, yes, and Shirley MacLaine also is in the picture. Ferrell’s a very funny man who has proven adept at elevating mediocre material by sheer force of personality. But asking him to squeeze some laughs out of this lemon is like asking Ephron to lay off the schmaltz. It’s just not possible. “Bewitched” languished in development Hell for 10 years with countless stars and filmmakers dropping in and out. As it turns out, the project could have used another decade or so in the incubator.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on June 24, 2005. Read the original PDF.