By Mark Marchillo Odd Man Out
BACK IN COLLEGE, MY FRATERNITY, AS MOST houses, stuck to that timeless rule of virtue and honor, trust and character: “Bros before Hoes.” We stuck to that. Well, basically. So now I’m wondering, what happened to that law of men? In the gay world, I mean. Specifically, I have a friend. And this guy seems to Myspace, flirt and inevitably sleep with every guy I’ve been interested in lately. I know, some friend. Precisely what I was thinking.
Let’s say a straight guy was out with his buddy at a bar. A hot girl walks in. Both guys find her hot, but the first guy has talked to her before and really likes her. At that point, unless he suddenly switches gears and turns his head in another hottie’s direction, the second guy backs off. His bro likes this girl — OK. ‘Nuff said. Hands off. In the pockets.
So I ask myself, “Do the same laws of straight men govern gay men as well?”
Us boys are all about sex, all the time. That’s how we’re built, as men, and as gay men, we’ve even got the license to think and act accordingly in that direction. There’s no woman there to chain the chastity belt. Boys like sex. Lots of it. With lots of different people, regardless of whether they know each others’ names. (Not to say that girls don’t like mindless, anonymous sex, too, but this article is for the gays so lets press on.) That said, I asked the guy I am/was interested in about my friend, and the fact that they had sex. Granted, this “Potential” and I are not dating, we’re barely seeing one another. But when I brought up the matter, he simply replied, “What’s it got to do with you?”
So I’m thinking maybe there was a section in the gay-laws that states that all is fair in love and whores. That, or maybe this friend of mine is just a big ol’ sleaze. Now that could be the case. Lord knows he has enough sex for the both of us and the army on leave. Or perhaps it’s normal to be this competitive between friends. Believe me, I know straighties go through this stuff as well — I’ve read books. And I watch Gossip Girl, so I’m up on it. But I am still a firm believer in the old adage, and I intend to stick by it, no matter if my friends, or soon-to-be ex-friends, don’t.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 3, 2007. Read the original PDF.