Buzz (büz) v. buzzed, buzz·ing, buzz·es 1. confusion of activity and gossip, 2. to be noisy with activity, 3. to talk, often excitedly, in low tones. Slang 1. Excited interest or attention. 2. To move quickly and busily; bustle.
Maybe, just maybe, it was a moment of clarity... The Buzz-saw was approached by a seemingly innocuous gent this week and told the other man had just had an “epiphany.”
“Have you had such epiphanies? Such moments of clarity?”
Clarity may not be the Buzz’s strong suit, but he still offered a hopeful “um, maybe.”
“There is no room for ‘maybes’ in my life!” And with that, pseudo-Socrates was gone. In a decided huff.While such conversations are disturbingly routine for the Buzz-cut, the ensuing sticking point has been thus: Was the fact that said wise man had no room for ‘maybes’ in his life indeed his epiphany? If so, could he have had such clarity before laying it on the Buzz in the first place?
Such brain boondoggles take much out of Buzz. Mental weariness ensues...... Seated outside the Snug Harbor breakfast cafe on Wilshire this past Sunday was an intentionally bald young man sporting trendy shades. While Buzzworthy in and of its Vin Diesel-self, the follicly challenged, muscle-laden dude carried on an unrelated discourse with his apparent girlfriend; all the while she rubbed his head like she was polishing a cue ball at House of Billiards. Both parties seemed pleased with the buffing, which made Buzz wonder what he’d missing with Gramps all these years while he just snoozes on his living room La-Z-Boy...... Spotted trying to film a movie in and around the Third Street Promenade this week was Owen Wilson, he who gave us such fare as “Anaconda,” “The Minus Man” and “Shanghai Noon”... and maybe some others. The Buzzman Cometh only wanted to lurk a bit, but all the film crew wanted to do “was make a movie.” Buzz was told he was ruining their shot. (Insert weepy music and tear here). If you cut Buzz, does he not bleed?...... In the odd-song-to-be-singing-while-walking-down-the-Promenade-on-a- Sunday-evening-in-2006 department: Buzz-erbeater was taken aback and taken back, all at the same time, by the sights and sounds of a man with creative facial hair getting his Traveling Wilburys on. Hey, “Tweeter and the Monkey Man” ain’t “Blowin’ in the Wind,” but an obscure ’80s Dylan b-side blew Buzz’s skirt up a bit... so to speak...... Heard the one about the old man lining up an interview with a new reporter?
“You can’t miss me. I’ll be the 80-year-old sitting in Izzy’s Deli.”
Less the Waldo shirt, let’s just say the subject blended in a bit. Might as well been bedecked in camouflage. Sometimes sarcasm is a hard thing to detect. If you aren’t careful, it’ll drip all over you... kinda like that stubborn stain on Buzz’s — oh, whatever...
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on October 16, 2006. Read the original PDF.