Buzz (büz) v. buzzed, buzz·ing, buzz·es 1. confusion of activity and gossip, 2. to be noisy with activity, 3. to talk, often excitedly, in low tones. Slang 1. Excited interest or attention. 2. To move quickly and busily; bustle.
It takes some big rubles to impress Java Joe... Standing in line at a local Starbucks (that nails it down), Buzz was decidedly un-beatnik, awaiting a barista dude to take an order for his mocha latte. Hey, it’s hard rep-resentin’ 24/7, man. The woman at the counter was taking an extended period of time in which to place her order, digging through her designer purse and whatnots, making all chit-chatty with the mermaid logo-wearing Java Joe. Upon closer inspection (that is, eavesdroppin’), it appeared the woman was looking to impress.
“I just got back from Europe. All I have in here are Francs.”
Enter Buzz, mired in his caffeine-strapped situation.
“Um, didn’t France convert to the euro like 10 years ago?”
The woman’s blank stare should have been accompanied by a soundtrack of crickets. She turned back to Barista Ben (their age differences looked like a ‘Graduate’ scene in the making).
“Then how about taking some rubles?” Buzz fixed her little oui oui wagon...... Whether the man at Sushi King on Wilshire was frontin’ the other night or not, Buzz couldn’t tell, but had to admit the Anglo-lookin’ gent with the outrageous Japanese accent seemed to be overdoing it a bit. Between gulps of eel, urchin and smelt eggs, the man was roaring with approval in an accent swiped from poorly dubbed versions of “Iron Chef.” Buzz admits he was looking for subtitles, or at least lips that were moving out of synch with what the man was saying. When the couple sitting next to the man began to snicker, he knew he’d been served, relocating to a sushi bar stool further down the restaurant. There, he ate his remaining smelt eggs with some humble pie (not on the menu, but delicious)...... In a Willy Wonka moment, all the signs of Christmas are beginning to emerge in and around Santa Monica, not the least of which was the man tasting the new blue-tinged tree lights along the promenade Friday night. Turn on your heart light, filament feaster, because they likely laughed behind Edison’s back, too...... In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Buzz presents the first annual top turkey names of 2006: 10) Tom Cruise Turkey 9) Jimlet 8) Hormel 7) Jonathan Mann 6) Phasianidae Phil 5) Edward Thomas Mgmt. Turkey 4) Asexual Aaron 3) W (as in George or Proposition) 2) Snoody 1) Lindsay Nohand
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 20, 2006. Read the original PDF.