By ROLAN GARRISSON Daily Press Staph Writer
The seeds have been planted for a ballot measure making shake marijuana, also known as “ditch weed,” “Mexi-brick” and “generic meds,” a lower law enforcement priority than high-grade ganga, commonly referred to as “chronic,”“dank,” “skunk,”“cabbage,”“Scooby Snacks,”“trees,”“turtle,”“greens”, “wacky terbacky,”“airplane,”“Mary Jane,”“hooch...”
“We aren’t fools. Like the war in Iraq, the war on drugs has failed and it’s time to focus scarce resources elsewhere, like ridding the city of genetically engineered plants,” said Cheech Chong for Jus’ Blaze, an advocacy group for the legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes.
“It is obvious that shake marijuana is less potent, bitter tasting and harsher on the throat and lungs than some freshly grown cannabis from Humboldt County, which is cultivated to perfection for the most potent dose so that patients do not have to smoke more than one puff or two, saving their lungs,” Chong added, as he took a hit from his four-foot bong. “Those who smoke schwag are typically those without medical coverage and cannot afford the best medication available. Why punish them further?”
In the last election, Santa Monicans voted overwhelmingly to make marijuana smoking in the privacy of one’s home the lowest law enforcement priority. Police officers are also not allowed to collaborate with federal authorities looking to bust up marijuana dispensaries.
For $420 a pop, Jus’ Blaze is paying professional signature gathers to grab every eligible voter walking out of local pizza parlors, movie theaters, smoke shops, ice cream parlors, and all Frisbee and Swisher Sweets outlets, Chong said through a cloud of smoke.
Buds of opposition are beginning to sprout, with the police officers’ union fired up, it’s president pledging to spend “as much money as it takes” to fight the measure.
“This is not necessary. Marijuana is already our lowest law enforcement priority,” said Sgt. John Taggert, president of the Santa Monica Police Officers’Association.“All this will do is create more paperwork for us.”
The City Council seemed divided, with Mayor Dick Doom providing the voice of reason, calling on the council to hire a consultant to study the popularity of schwag versus chronic and whether or not anyone is smoking less potent marijuana in Santa Monica, “a city known for being on the cutting edge, even when it comes to growing some good smoke.”
“Let’s sit back, inhale, exhale and pass this around,” Doom said from the dais last week following a vote to make Zig-Zag the main sponsor at this year’s Santa Monica Festival.
Meanwhile, squirrels in Palisades Park were seen consummating their relationship, fueling fears that the cute little rodents will bring about a plague on all our houses.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2007. Read the original PDF.