Socio-economic classes ready to rumble
By SACKA SOMETHING Daily Planet Slave
The fight is on.
Still bitter from their loss last year in the First Annual Class Bash, members from the city’s ruling political party, Santa Monicans Everywhere are Always Right, are ready to kick some rich people’s asses.
The traditional “West Side Story” style street brawl became a tradition last year in the First Annual Class Bash as a way to continue deepening Santa Monica’s already-entrenched divisions.
The Angry Rich, who obliterated SMEAR fighters last year with their weapon of choice — German luxury cars — are poised to keep their title as the meanest, toughest and angriest people in town.
“We can’t be messed with and you can’t bring us down,” said Richard Thanyou. “Those sissies tried to fight with their reasoning and words, but we knew it would only take a few tire tracks across their backs to get in their grills.”
The Second Annual Class Bash will take place at high noon on Saturday. A flip of the coin decided the battle’s location — this year the Angry Rich won and chose the treacherous curves of Adelaide Drive — the desired spot last year but they lost out to SMEAR’s choice of Virginia Avenue Park.
This year, SMEAR will try a new tactic.
“We’re bringing organic soy milk,” said Shara Thelove, a SMEAR fighter. “One taste of that stuff and they’ll be shitting their pants.”
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2004. Read the original PDF.