“I’ve never known almost all my audience by first name before,” said Glenn Hirsch, a 16-year resident of Santa Monica. “It should be great though. I laugh individually with almost everyone here when we pick up our kids after school.”
Other comedians made the crowd promise not to tell their kids what went on at the benefit.
“If any of us suck tonight, just please don’t tell your kids,” said Fran Solomita, whose son Marvin attends Franklin. “Really, our kids already have enough problems without having to deal with that too.”
During his performance, Solomita commented on the city’s large homeless population and the lengths they go to when they ask for spare change.
“Here in Santa Monica our homeless are creative,” he said. “This one guy came up to me the other day and said, ‘My wife has just been kidnapped and I have the entire ransom except for 35 cents.’
“What? Was she being held in a candy machine?” he joked.
Collins, who lives on 17th Street, talked about his run-in with the Santa Monica dog catcher. After the dog was lost for three days, the city called to say the animal was safe in its kennel.
“But they said they were closing now and I would have to come in the morning to get him,” said Collins. “I said lady, look I’ll come down right now and get him but she insisted they were closing right then and I would have to wait until 8 a.m. tomorrow morning.
“When I got down there and paid my $109 fine, they led my dog out, and he was wearing a dress and a wig,” he said. “I know Santa Monica’s a nice town but I think something kinky’s going on at the dog pound.”
Dave Coulier, who is known for his starring role in ABC’s show “Full House” said he liked volunteering at the school’s other fundraiser, a Halloween carnival. His son, Luke, attends Franklin and Coulier joked his performance that night was the pinnacle of his career.
“So, yeah, my career’s doing well,” he said. “Finally I’m getting a chance to perform at the Aero Theater on Montana.”
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on March 13, 2002. Read the original PDF.