YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED HOW MANY Santa Monica men would pursue their sexual dream come true, even if they had to give up civil liberties.
Santa Monica women aren’t savvy about lovers they choose. Some would commit to a racist sexist who promises them a car, home and generous allowance.
These are conclusions drawn from a recent sociological experiment. During Valentine’s week, I posted fake personal ads on a free and popular Web site to determine how low men and women would go to get what they want from each other.
Based on the results, both sexes have higher standards for their lovers than I expected, with noted exceptions.
In my Feb. 7 column, I argued that falling in love is becoming obsolete. Since relationships make participants better understand themselves, a quality romance can serve as a catalyst for personal evolution.
Yet falling in love seems to be more myth than reality. One of the odd side effects of gender equality is that it is easier for men to solicit women not for love, but sex, while some women seem more interested in using natural assets to obtain benefactors, not necessarily furthering their role in society.
Meanwhile, both genders have regressed, inclined to form superficial relationships with each other to achieve objectives.
Or so my argument went. Dubbing this the Age of Anti-Romance, I took my concerns to the Internet. I posted four fake personal ads, two under “men-seeking-women” and two under “women-seeking-men.” Within each category, I had one variable and one control post.
I thought my variables would receive most responses, affirming my critical assumptions of the Great American Dating Scene. I was wrong. Santa Monica, you impress me: Sex and money aren’t the only factors motivating your love affairs.
“Real Estate Mogul Seeks Long-Term Acquisition,” variable of men-seeking-women, was a middle-aged entrepreneur looking for a beautiful intelligent woman for dinner and drinks.“I’ll be asking you questions about your hopes and dreams, your favorite brand names and sport teams, and why you would be an asset to me,”Real Estate said. In return for sexual devotion, he promised Miss Right a car, home and plenty of cash.
Although Real Estate preferred blondes ready to bare children, he would also consider, “Blacks, Japs, Jews, Mexicans or any ‘other’ as long as they have good table manners.”
The post concluded with a question, “Who says money can’t buy happiness?”
Five — 10 percent — of the 50 total responses were for Real Estate. Three were from attractive woman available for permanent purchase. Two others said they enjoyed the joke.
“Dedicated Dog Owner Ready to Expand Family,” the control, was a middle-aged inner-city school teacher, marathon runner, vegetarian and volunteer at the local hospital. He was more interested in a woman’s heart than her looks.
Dog Owner received five responses — 10 percent — as many as Real Estate. If test results are taken seriously, Santa Monica women are as interested in dating an active progressive gentleman as a millionaire misogynistic supremacist.
“Hotter and Creamier than Vanilla Latte,” variable of women-seeking-men, was a young brunette bombshell looking for, “good, hard and regular sex.” Having been hurt in the past, Vanilla Latte insisted some conditions be met once her man proves faithful in the sack.“Cameras will have to be installed in your home, unless you move in with me. I’ll provide you with a walkie-talkie you must answer at all times. Have you seen ‘Moment of Truth?’ You’ll be subject to lie detector tests if I suspect you are being dishonest.”
The post also ended with a question. “I know I’ll be your sexual dream come true, but will you be mine?”
Vanilla Latte received 10 responses — or 20 percent — in five minutes before the post was flagged for alleged impropriety. My lap-top was ransacked with photos of smiling faces and abs. Several men responding were frustrated a woman would ask so much of a lover.
“I’d thought I’d reply, even though you’re kind of demanding,” a man identified as Eddie said. “I mean, you want to find someone who is … into sex … AND you want him monitored? Next you’ll want him to speak in cohesive sentences! Heck, if a guy’s knuckles aren’t dragging on the ground, you’re doing all right!”
“Easy-Going Gal Seeks Realistic Romance,” was a happy educated marketing professional, brown hair and eyes, average height, athletic and lacking any delusions about her quest for quality companionship.
At 30 responses — 60 percent of the total — Realistic Romance received six times as many prospects as any man-seeking-women. Lonely bachelors begged to meet her. “You sound too good to be true,” was a common theme.
Perhaps they had a point. This might be the Age of Anti-Romance, not because we have given up on love, but because we are looking the wrong way.
RYAN HYATT is a former SMDP staff writer and author of “The Death of Rock ‘n’ Roll.” He is seeking a publisher for his second novel, “Stay Younger Longer,” a political thriller that takes place in L.A. in 2046. He
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on February 28, 2008. Read the original PDF.