... Sitting in the Firehouse restaurant on Main Street in Venice, trying to stomach an ill-advised breakfast burrito order, the Buzzsaw’s stomach took a turn for the worse after a glance outside the front window. There, between each smiling passerby, was Jonathan Borofsky’s “Ballerina Clown” half-kicking his (her?) fresh little dancer leg. When one pedestrian stopped to glance at the big ol’ odd landmark, then looked inside the Firehouse and saw Buzz staring at it, a look of shame and guilt of confused Catholic School proportions came upon the Buzzman. Indeed, Buzz in that moment felt smaller than a Tinkerbell with a grizzled male Gacy-like clown head...... Like most Santa Monicans, Buzz needs to be reminded there actually is an indoor mall just across the street from that promenade thing. Braving the temperate tundra, Buzz opted to risk frizzing his hair and duck inside this novelty known by some as Santa Monica Place, truly a hidden treasure, or something. Curious who actually spends time there, Buzz spotted State Assembly-member Fran Pavley trying on coats for an upcoming jaunt to Washington DC, where its colder than California, but a wee bit warmer for Democrats than Republicans these days. No word on whether she went for the classic black or the biscuit-colored woolen overlay, but does Pavley’s purchase perchance mean this global warming thing is just poohockey?...... Speaking of global warming and climactic climate changes, Buzz has noticed the world getting darker in recent weeks, like an hour earlier than it used to. This could be some Al Gore Powerpoint demonstration grist for the mill...... In the Buzz-isn’t-sure-why-she’s-a-celebrity-but-Buzz-spotted-her-anyway department: A very pregnant Brooke Burke was chatting up someone something fierce on her cell phone this week, like it was a lost episode of Wild On the Third Street Promenade. But cancellation came suddenly again, as she shoehorned her way into a SUV and zoomed off. For 20 minutes or so, Buzz thought how that’s a cradle that really will rock. Then, Buzz spent another 20 minutes thinking about hummus...... Well, apparently the cross-eyed fat cat “Dizzy” that lives inside the store Wild About Music on Second Street met its match this week, when a woman set about chasing it around the array of Elvis drink cozies and Kurt Cobain splatter-paint pieces. Buzz thought it funny at first, then sad when the woman told police her “legs were broken,” then funny again when Buzz realized she’d been darting about pretty good on fractured femurs. Then Buzz forgot about the whole episode, swept away by the thought of a Wild About Music freezer section that could include Gary Glitter ganache and Phil Spector sherbet...
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 30, 2006. Read the original PDF.