Dear Dorie, For the last few weeks, my 22-month-old son has started to tell me when he wants to use the potty. I’ve noticed that he’s more successful using it when he’s with my husband than with me. Is that normal? I had heard that it was usually the other way around.
Potty Partner Dear Partner, First of all, congratulations on your toddler beginning the toilet learning (aka potty training) process. In this country, 22 months is considered early for boys. Most children, regardless of gender, begin the process between two and three years of age. Remember that this is a process; it is not accomplished overnight. You will have good weeks and bad weeks. How he behaves with your husband or any other adult will vary.
That written, boys typically have less modeling opportunities than girls and it makes some sense that your son would be more successful in his attempts when he’s with his Daddy. If there is a minor difference when he’s with you, I would do nothing. If, however, you notice that he’s increasing in reluctance with you, and only using the potty when he’s with Dad, I would go over your verbal suggestions and cues to make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page.
Remember that to be ready for toilet learning involves physical (capacity of bladder and muscle control), cognitive (aware of the adult behavior expectation) and emotional (able to give up a part of self) awareness. If your son is displaying these, then a preference for Dad is nothing to worry about. Good luck.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on June 5, 2007. Read the original PDF.