“Besides, the lease is only for 20 years. Then we can simply tear them down.”
Public opposition to the project was scant, with most residents preferring to concentrate on “buffing their Hummers” rather than the ugly business of city government and environmental ruin.
According to planning statues, the rigs must resemble either 20th century Craftsman or Spanish Modern architecture.
“We feel that the architects can incorporate all of our visual elements that make historical Santa Monica special,” said Joe Schmokealotapot, a five-year member of the Planning Commission. “These rigs are gonna be bitchin, man.”
A representative from the local Greenpeas chapter expressed concern over the approval and sheer size of this project.
“We at Greenpeas are opposed to any exploitation of our world’s oceans, the home of our greatest creatures,” said Bea Green, just before getting a parking ticket. “We must be compensated for this exploitation of our natural resources with cold, hard cash.”
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2003. Read the original PDF.