WITH WILDFIRES RAGING THROUGHout Southern California forcing 500,000 people to evacuate, the story about Ellen Degeneres’ dog, Iggy, has been pushed to the back burner. (No pun intended.) But all last week, it dominated the news. Ellen’s tears seemed genuine, but Bill O’Reilly suggested she did it for ratings. I suppose he would know about doing things for ratings.
Ellen had adopted Iggy, a shaggy-haired mixed breed, from “Mutts & Moms,” but when he couldn’t get along with her cats, she gave him to her hairdresser. When M & M called to see how Iggy was doing, Ellen told the truth. (Mistake #1?) Even though Iggy’s new family was a loving one, it was against the contract for Ellen to have given the dog away. M & M confiscated Iggy, breaking the hearts of the hairdresser’s two young daughters. This prompted Ellen’s on-air breakdown, during which she begged for the return of the pet. The entire incident became the subject of a national debate. Only in America.
Everybody weighed in, even Bill Maher, who said when he saw Ellen weeping uncontrollably he assumed her entire family died in a car accident, or that Iggy’s new owner was Michael Vick. I’m a huge fan of Maher, but I was turned off when he added, “Hey, Ellen broke the rules!” Maher, who almost brags how often he gets stoned, is criticizing Ellen for breaking rules about a doggie adoption?
Wouldn’t it have been simpler if Mutts & Moms had just inspected Iggy’s new home and determined if it was a loving environment? Instead, they asserted their contractual rights, Ellen broke down on her show and the public becomes consumed with the story. M & M even got death threats. Where’s our perspective? We’ve been in Iraq for five years and the country is obsessed with Iggy, O.J., Paris, Lindsay and Britney? (Though not necessarily in that order.) I love dogs, but I can’t imagine a headline during WWII: “Americans battle at Iwo Jima; Lassie gets a new home.”
The unique part of this war is how few are sacrificing. After Vietnam, the Pentagon decided to convert to an all-volunteer military. Peace activists celebrated, as did I, but it was naive. If there was still a draft, we never would have gone to war in Iraq. And, if somehow we had, college campuses would be rioting and Bush would be a prisoner in the White House. (The latter doesn’t sound so bad.) This is also the first time in the history of the world (and that’s a fair amount of history) that a war is being fought without raising taxes. It will cost us trillions, but we’re not paying for it, our children and grandchildren will. Of course, there are hundreds of trillions in untapped Iraqi oil, so, if you overlook the carnage, lost lives, the tax burden to future generations and de-stabilizing the entire region, the war may be a bargain. That is, for Exxon or whoever gets the contract to refine and distribute the oil.
I realize it’s a jump from Iggy to Iraq, but please bear with me. In 1995, Governor Bush was highly critical of President Clinton’s sending troops into Bosnia because there was no “exit scenario!” How’s that for irony? But there’s something else. Former Houston Chronicle columnist Mickey Herskowitz was signed to ghostwrite W’s autobiography. “My father had all this political capital built up when he drove the Iraqis out of Kuwait and he wasted it,” Bush said. “If I have a chance to invade, I’m not going to waste it.” That was in 1999!
Now Bush wants $46 billion more for the war, plus there’s talk about bombing Iran. As Ronald Reagan said, “There you go again.” We’re already in two Muslim countries, why not go for a third? For all our wonderful traits, sadly, we’re a country of amnesiacs. We’ve forgotten the lessons of McCarthyism and Vietnam and even the missing WMDs.
As for the fires, they’re another reminder that the National Guard should be at home, not in Iraq. See my prediction from back in June on page 4. (www.smdp.com/site/archives/062907.pdf ) That said, there has been a remarkably small loss of life and local evacuation operations have been performed smoothly, especially compared to Katrina. Maybe we are learning?
Even Ellen laughed at her on-air emotions the following Tuesday, when the men on her staff “spontaneously” wept. In the meantime, everyone hopes and prays the fires are under control soon so the 500,000 people can return home.
At the risk of raising Bill Maher’s ire, I even hope the same goes for Iggy.
JACK NEWORTH also writes the TV review column “Channel Surfing” for the Daily Press. He
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on October 26, 2007. Read the original PDF.