Former gangsters now have hope
JOHN ADAMS MIDDLE SCHOOL — Five ex-convicts spoke candidly to dozens of community members on Saturday about the lifestyles of drug abuse and violence that overtook them at an early age — and which they have overcome — in the hopes of promoting awareness of the need to invest more in local youth so they will not share a similar fate.
The panel members — three of whom were former gang members who grew up in Santa Monica’s Pico neighborhood — explained the factors that led them astray and what it took for them to come to personal peace. While each panelist took responsibility for their self-destructive actions and mix-ups with the law, they each also described a number of factors that contributed to their downfall — ones they would not like to see other struggling youngsters have to endure.
Ricky McCaster, 53, a father and former criminal, relayed how he became an alcoholic and drug abuser at an early age and how it spiraled him into a lifestyle of organized crime that led to jail time.
“Death and prisons are no choice, they’re consequences,” McCaster said. “Would I do it all over again? No. But I believe it’s important people listen to each other and give each other another chance.
“I’m glad people have given me one.” Steven Luciano — raised in Santa Monica and now a counselor at the Pico Youth and Family Center, which organized the event — said a lack of family support had helped contribute to a sense of hopelessness at an early age. Luciano relayed how, by the time he was in middle school, he used to get drunk and high. Soon, small crimes, such as stealing bubble gum, led to bigger and bigger entanglements with the law.
“I continued to lose,” Luciano said. “I was locked up for most of the ’90s, and in prison nothing was going to make me change my ways. I became intrigued by it, the lifestyle, and wanted to see how far I could go.
“Then I started to realize I was going to kill myself, or someone else and end up in prison for the rest of my life. I had enough.”
Luciano — 38 and a father of two — said he has been sober for four years. Although he understands and supports the need for law enforcement and the penal system, he also believes there needs to be better programming in place to give struggling youth support systems and options that will allow them to make better choices and pursue a positive lifestyle.
Mando Garcia agreed. Garcia said he was raised by a supportive single mother who did a good job raising him under difficult family circumstances. However, the lack of a male figure prompted Garcia to seek acceptance — and guidance — from older males in his neighborhood.
“I looked up to the homies,” Garcia said. “I wanted to be like them, and I wanted to do whatever I could to get their attention, so I was crazier than everyone else.”
Garcia said he dabbled in baseball as a youth but that his mother, often working, didn’t always make it to his games. Having his father attend may have done more to keep him on a path that acknowledged the need for responsibility.
“It would have been good to have my father there, yelling at me to square up or keep my glove to the ground.”
Garcia said his mother told him growing up she would never stand by his side if he were sent to jail. However, when he was sent to jail, she kept in touch with him and visited him, always providing support.
“You think the homies from your neighborhood will be there for you, write you and send you money when you’re in prison, but it’s all lies,” Garcia said. “Lies, lies, lies. Your family is the only family you’ve got.”
Still, another panelist, Arturo Arce — a PY&FC counselor — said he came from a good family background, but that didn’t stop him from taking part in a lifestyle of drugs and gangs. However, Arce acknowledged that other influences, such as peer pressure, are powerful. He said it’s important that youth realize they’re better off not succumbing to it.
“Not everyone needs to be a leader, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a follower either,” Arce said.
Lisa Diaz, another Santa Monica resident, was the panelist who has most recently begun to turn her life around. Speaking candidly to the audience, she described how she willfully began causing trouble at an early age, and later, in prison, had enjoyed it.
“I was dealing and doing drugs on the inside and listening to the radio,” Diaz said. “I liked prison.”
Diaz said she began to spend more and more time in jail, which became comfortable in its routine.
“I started to see in black and white, and when I wasn’t in jail, I saw color, and it tripped me out,” Diaz said.
Diaz said it became difficult for her to cope with life being out of jail. She said she stayed home a lot, and despite the fact that she wasn’t a lazy person, she feared applying for jobs because she had little confidence.
Diaz said she is still wrestling with personal problems. However, a discussion with a Santa Monica police officer about her life made her realize, years ago, that what she really wants to do is help others.
With the help of the officer, Diaz said she has been able to start a local baseball team, giving youngsters an opportunity to enjoy themselves in a positive way.
Diaz said she has a long way to go to be the person she wants to be, but she’s glad she’s at least on the path.
“There’s a lot of work to do,” she said.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on December 19, 2005. Read the original PDF.