There’s only two weeks remaining in 2005 so it’s high time we clean out the ole’ reader mailbox here at Imbiber Headquarters: Dear Imbiber, I’m hosting a Fourth of July barbecue and several people from my office will be in attendance, including my new boss. With my annual review coming up in August, I’m really hoping to make a good impression. Can you please suggest some Independence Day-themed cocktails? — Brad Dear Brad, Let’s pretend I didn’t blow you off for six months and assume that you weren’t fired for serving something awful like red, white and blue Jell-O shots (You weren’t fool enough to serve tri-colored Jell-O shots, were ya, Brad?) OK, so Fourth of July’s a wash, but there’s still an opportunity to impress at the Christmas party, and I’ve found that nothing says, “Hey boss, I’m special,” more effectively than a full-color photocopy of your butt. I did it several years ago at a booze-soaked Yuletide shindig, and promptly got promoted to West Coast bureau chief … though the paper didn’t even have a West coast bureau then.
Dear Imbiber, Any tips for avoiding eye injuries when opening champagne bottles? — Michael Dear Michael, You may want to let the nurses at the institution you’re in do it for you. Just kid-ding, sparky! I’m sure you’re sharp as a tack, just like the rest of my readers. Besides, statistics say lots of people maim themselves every year popping corks and not all of them can be lamppost lickers. Best way to avoid damaging a peeper is to make sure your sparkling wine is chilled to at least 45 degrees before opening. The cork of a warm bottle is more likely to pop unexpectedly. Plus, chilled bubbly tastes better.
Dear Imbiber, What’s your favorite “spiked” eggnog recipe? — Loretta Dear Loretta, Here ya go … 1 liter Maker’s Mark 1 quart milk 1 quart heavy cream 2 dozen eggs 1 1⁄2 cups sugar Separate eggs and beat yolks until creamy. Whip sugar into yolks. Beat whites until they stand in peaks, adding 1/2 cup additional sugar, if desired. Beat yolks and Maker’s Mark together, add whites. Beat cream. Add cream and milk to mixture. Add nutmeg to taste and garnish each cup with nutmeg. Makes 2 1/2 gallons.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on December 16, 2005. Read the original PDF.