The question, frustratingly left unanswered, bedeviled your ink slinger throughout this highly unremarkable film: What abhorrent sin did humankind commit to deserve Breckin Meyer? By and large Hollywood executives are not the most perspicacious types, but surely even they should have realized by now that the world would be a far better place had “Inside Schwartz” and “Married to the Kellys” never happened. Yet Meyer inexplicably keeps invading our homes and multiplexes … here he’s joined by Jennifer Love Hewitt, Stephen Tobolowsky and, sadly, Bill Murray, who lends his pipes to the computer-generated titular tabby. It isn’t that “Garfield” is a horrendous film so much as a terribly unnecessary one, especially with far superior fare such as “Shrek 2” and “Harry Potter” in theaters to keep the kids occupied. Plus, the Legions of faithful comic readers know that Garfield is one acerbic and pampered fat cat. As rendered on the big screen, he’s downright nasty to his wet rag of an owner, Jon (Meyer), who nonetheless dutifully dotes on the beast. Jon’s such a truckler and Garfield an irritant, you may find yourself rooting for some sort of massive flea infestation. Instead, they get a dog. Odie’s a dim-witted but talented dachshund-terrier mix, and it’s not an exaggeration to say that the dancing pooch is the best thing going in “Garfield.” The other dogs, though — Meyer, ubiquitous character actor Tobolowsky (“Groundhog Day”) and Love- Hewitt (still flustered from “The Tuxedo,” perhaps?) — apparently weren’t trained properly because they crapped all over this movie. Not that the blame is entirely theirs. The script, by “Cheaper by the Dozen” scribes Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow, isn’t fit to line the bottom of a litter box. And the Oscar will probably not be going to director Pete Hewitt either. Murray gets a pass because he’s Murray (“Caddyshack,” “Lost in Translation,” “Stripes”), but here’s hoping in the future he sticks with the likes of talented film-makers like Sophia Coppola and Wes Anderson and leaves this trash to the strays. (Rated PG for brief mild language.)
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on June 11, 2004. Read the original PDF.