The debate continues, thanks to Larry Summers, the president of Harvard, on why there is not gender equality in the workforce. The issue is not the issue. The underlying factors are the issue. I am going to address the bottom line issue, but from the perspective of an employer, not an objective observer.
For years, I have jokingly said that what I want for a secretary is a 45-year-old lesbian with three cats. They are not likely to run off and get married to some man who will whisk them away to some foreign land like Wisconsin. They are not likely to have babies at that age, and they are not likely to leave me if I treat them well. Thus, they will learn my habits, my business and be the Della to my Perry Mason.
This past year, I have started a new business. We have employees. They have ill parents. They have kids and ex-spouses. One is single and raising two children, twin 4-year-old boys. We have many discussions about schedules, nannies and day cares.
All of this impacts an employee’s ability to work.
I will tell you that from my perspective, as much as I love and respect people’s ability, and all that they have done for the company, I hate hearing about the kids, the dad, the nanny, the day care and the preschools. It annoys me when those events/subjects/objects of affection in people’s lives take them away from the business.
This has become my own personal pet peeve. Perhaps I am just a curmudgeon in the making. I’ve been compared to Ebeneezer Scrooge, and I don’t doubt that at some time in the future I will be compared to some other odious person. But if I am paying you to do a job, I don't care to hear about your kids, your wife, your dying grandma. I want the job done. Period. And I don’t want to hear about your personal problems.
It's perhaps unfair of me to be so harsh, but I have chosen to be dedicated to building a business; a business that employs many people. I have the responsibility of providing income to five people directly, who in turn provide for an additional nine people. I have to be concerned with the big picture, and I don’t have the time to care about a person having to pick up their child from day care because of a runny nose.
I have had to put the brakes on development plans and growth strategies because of family members dying, children sick with a horrendous flu, school emergencies, nanny emergencies and holiday school events. It's frustrating.
I am not alone in this. I have spoken with other employers and our feelings are real. We are taking the responsibility of getting a job done, and we hire people and pay them good money to get a job done. We have a focus on our purpose and for the most part, we don't tolerate employees who are bifurcated in their focus. Children and family are important. I realize that. But coming from strictly an employer's view, I would rather hire a single person, who has no great aspirations towards a large family, or a coupled person who has no aspirations towards a family at all, over a married person with several children.
It may not be morally right, it may not be morally evil. It is discrimination, and for so long as my money and livelihood are dependent upon the actions of others to whom I am paying an income, I will be doing so.
The point is that there is definitely a "parentism" issue. But the bigger issue, the one which I think encompasses not just gender, but lifestyle is that where is the employee's head? Is it in the job they were hired to do or is it in things they have to do in order to get ready for the Halloween parade at Janie's preschool?
Raising kids is important work. People have to be allowed to do it well. I just don’t like it to be on my dime. If they want to do that, they should go to work for the big "evil" corporations, the ones where the loss of an individual is felt less and they have much more liberal family leave procedures.
I know what I look for in a hire. I've done it for the past 16 years. I want a dedicated employee, and the odds are that I'm more likely to get one if they are not enmeshed in family issues.
It is the difference between an owner's attitude and an employee’s attitude. Owners have to put in nights, weekends and holidays. Employees get to put in their hours and take home a paycheck. Owners have to keep their eye on the big picture, employees get to see only their part and make assumptions. Owners see a business full of staff and get scared of tax liabilities, making payroll and having the rent. Employees see a big staff and assume the owner is making huge profits. What they don’t realize is that, the more employees, the more headaches and frequently the less profit there is.
“Parentism” is not a popular stance to take, but it is one that those who are engaged in the discussion of gender and equality need to be aware of. It is a factor in hiring and promotions, particularly for the small business person. And yes, it does become sexist, but that is only because women are bearing the brunt of the child-rearing. But I’m willing to apply it to both men and women equally. (David Pisarra is a business development lawyer in the Santa Monica firm of Pisarra & Grist. He or (310) 664- 9969.)
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on March 1, 2005. Read the original PDF.